eHomemakers Malaysia

Wishes for all

2012-02-09T17:22:00.002+08:00

“Theearthquake-tsunami of December 26, 2004 will certainly shock humanity into remembrance of our beloved Mother Earth’s own agenda, of which our petty human ones are at best merely a fractal - and generate up swellings of compassion, humility, and awe….. Mother Earth never ceases to awe and astoundme with her beauty, her primordial POWER, her absolute compassion and mercy.She could have easily terminated 30 million human lives instead of tens ofthousands.” Antares (Kit Leee), the guru of new age thinking in the KlangValley, wrote in a recent poem.

Hehas summarized the feelings many of us have experienced since the outbreak ofthe Asian tsunami tragedy. We are overwhelmed by our sense of helplessness. Afriend said it all, “When it is time to go, you just go like this, often, withno warning. We are all part of nature’s cycle of life and death. So remember,do something meaningful for breath you take, love your family and friends andnurture your spiritual grow!”

Thelast sentence that she uttered is the New Year resolution of many of myfriends. I am reading it in email and hearing it on the phone. My friends wantto live and enjoy the present till whenever they can. Hearing their calmsoothing voices and reading their inspirational writings remind me of theblessings around me as I embark on my own journey to my destination in thislife.

Iwish everyone I know, including the angry, vengeful and unhappy people who haveshared their stories with me, is making similar New Year resolution. Andmost of all to members of my extended family. Severalmembers of my extended family passedaway this December. The unresolvedissues they left behind have sent shock waves throughout the rest of thefamily. Instead of spending time together to renew family strength, some oldwounds and hurts were dugged up among some members who havenot spoken or seen each other for decades, sending stressful titanic waves ontothe shores of family members who were merely observers of the decades-long wound-makingprocess.

Thewound was like the hidden earthquake in the plates of Mother Earth. Tremorsoccurred whenever there were some movements of the unstable plates. And when amajor plate moved, some forms of disaster occurred. The undercurrent was sostrong that those nearest (who still refuse to change ) to the deceased mightnot feel the strength of the negative impact, but those further away receivedthe titanic waves of the negative consequences.

Allthese were caused by someone saying something wrong in anger and the receiversreacting with more anger and keeping the hurt, nurturing it into a wound thatgrew in size over the years, carrying to the next generations. If only theycould let go and make peace. Like the famous Chinese saying, “Every family hasa very difficult book to read,” my extended family’s book is full of twists andturns of human dramas.

Isaid to one of the hurt family members, “Go to the cemetery, stand in front ofthe tomb stone and tell the deceased that you have forgiven the hurt inflictedand that you treasure the good time you had had with the deceased. What is thepoint of carrying the hurt forever and hate the deceased for what had happened?We should all learn from the whole history, about responsibility and how to nurturefamily, and what not to do to avoid inflicting hurt onto others.”

Iwas met with complete silence though I was bracing for a big scolding formaking such an outrageous suggestion.

Nothingof what I suggested has happened but I have thrown a little stone onto a lake,causing some small ripples to spread -- the thoughts of forgiveness and thewhys of living.

I have urged several other people I now to let go of deep hurt, heal chasmsof misunderstandings, and reinvent themselves by building something positivefrom the wounds. One of them has been doing some reading and he wrote to merecently about what he gleaned from his reading, “In his recent book co-authored with VICTOR CHAN titled " TheWisdom of FORGIVENESS ", His Holiness

THE DALAI LAMA saysthat " when you BOMB your neighbours, you BOMB your own self ". Whatever suffering our enemies and adversaries inflict on us, they inflict onthemselves.

“Jesus said: " FATHER,Forgive them because they do not know what they are doing! " His messageis the same as the Dalai Lama's. Jesus is really saying, when you poke a spearinto my body, you are actually poking a spear into yourself, BECAUSE IN OURUNIVERSE WE ARE ALL CONNECTED. WE LIVE IN A REAL LIFE WORLD OF interdependence orconnectedness whether we like it or not!

“It does not matter whetherwe believe in Allah, God, Buddha, or whatever, we still are entitled to a lifeoverflowing with BLESSINGS if we only take the trouble to hunt for them.”

Andthus he has written my New Year resolution – hunt for blessings by sending outpositive energy from me to my surroundings.

Aziza

2012-02-09T17:16:00.000+08:00

"Good morning,Madame! Aziza here now." She smiled and her plump cheeksbuldged upwards, pushing her old-fashioned, black-rimmed glasses up to her eyebrows. All covered in a black caftan and long veil, Aziza stood at the door clutchingher usual plastic shopping bag containing her work clothes.
She followed me, a sign ofrespect to her employer, as we climbed the twenty steps to my apartment. When I reached the top, Aziza was still only half-way up. Pantingheavily, she hauled her heavy body up each step with great difficulty. Her right hand pressed her right thigh as her right leg moved up one step tothe next; her left leg moved the same way. Every time she exerted forcewith her legs, her fleshy feet squeezed into her little shoes, seeming to wantto burst out of them.
Sweat seeped through her veil near her temples when she reached the top ofthe stairs. Her thick lenses were so foggy that I could not see hereyes. She removed her glasses, which bridged her nose with a Band-aidholding the two sides together. As she wiped the lenses with her dress,she heaved a big sigh as if she was just relieved of a burden.
Aziza had been recommended to meby a colleague. Having worked for Indian expats for the last eight years,she had a skill that many housemaids lacked -- she spoke English.
She cleaned my apartment andironed clothes two days per week. I could not ask her to do many things,such as clean the constantly dusty windows or vacuum the carpets, because shecould not bend or stand on a stool without fainting. I took her inbecause she was the only wage earner for her family of ten -- two children,aged four and seven, her in-laws, a widow sister with three small children, anda husband who had been in prison for several years.
She lived in a poorneighbourhood near Agami, a resort town on the Mediteranean Sea, which was twohours by bus from where I lived in Alexandria, Egypt. Since unemploymentwas high, she was one of the lucky women who found jobs as a housemaid. Her 350 pound (RM266) monthly salary was just enough to buy food for the entirefamily. She was well-off compared to many people in her area.
Like other poor families,Aziza's family meals consisted mostly of "aish" (a coarse, flat breadthat cost just 5 piasters, or 6 Malaysian sen, each) eaten with "tahini"(a dip made of ground sesame seeds, garlic and cumin) and tea laden withsugar. Sweets made of ghee were eaten whenever Aziza recieved her dailywage. Vegetables were eaten only as supplement when there was no moneyto buy sweets. They had never developed a taste for fruits; they were tooexpensive to buy.
Meat, a high status food, wasalso too expensive for the poor. Since Aziza did not get a chance to eatmuch meat when she worked with the Indian families, who were all vegetarian,she could not help but eat as much meat as possible whenever I made Malaysiandinners for friends. After she ate all the meat she wanted, she wasusually sick the next day.

The high level of fat, starchand sugar in her foods took a toll on Aziza's health. She tired easilyand often took rest for days because of diabetes and high bloodpressure. Her face often grew crimson and puffy after she finished acleaning task. Physical activity seemed to take a lot out of her. Ioften found her laying on the floor overcome by dizziness when she had herperiod.

When she first started to workfor me, I did not know that she had serious health problem. "Thesepeople, they are low class and they are lazy. They don't want to work butthey want your money. If you pay them, they get even lazier!" said the Egyptian neighbour who lived in the apartment downstairs as we sippedafternoon tea in her satin-walled lounge. Having just arrived in thecountry, I took her advice and I did not pay Aziza for the days she did notcome.
Despite her sickness, Aziza cameto work whenever she felt better. It was not until months later that Ifound out her problems. "Don't come to work if you are sick!" Iadvised.
"Aziza no work, no money,no eat, baby cry," she insisted, determination in her eyes.
Ashamed of myself for being souncaring, I offered to pay her wages if she took a rest for a month. "No, Madam. If Aziza not come, other lady come, Madam forgetAziza." She was afraid to lose her job because there were so manyother women in the neighbourhood who would jump at the chance of ajob.
One time, I could not bear thethought of her food habits any more and I tried to explain the benefits ofeating a variety of foods to her. As I described a balance diet for her,she looked down humbly and listened quietly.
Then, she showed me her swollenhands. An indentation was left when I pressed my finger on one of thepalms. Her hands retained water because of her weak heart. Shelooked at me sadly and said softly, "Aziza sick because Aziza no money. Aziza eat "aish", Aziza work, Aziza happy. One day, baby big,Aziza no sick."
Just before I left Egypt, Iheard from my colleague that Aziza was in the hospital, seriously ill. Her mother had died and her seven year old had broken his legs from fallinginto a manhole in the streets.
I know I will miss her smiles.
(This blog is about theinter-relationship between poverty and nutrition and health status. Poverty determines the nutrition and health status because it affects the kindsof food that a household eats. Poor nutrition and health status, in turn,affects the income level of the household by making individuals lessproductive. Often, women are the most affected by poor diets.)

Too much tuition

2012-02-09T17:15:00.000+08:00

Why do middle-class parents who did not go totuition during their own school years now overload their children withtuitions, giving them undue pressures? Chong Sheau Ching wonders where do the pressures come from -- our increasingly competitive society, ourkiasu attitude, the education system, materialism or teachers?

Too much pressure?

On the fourth day of PMR this year, afriend called me, “Do you know there are already 60 cases of suicide among PMRstudents by today? Don’t pressure yourdaughter to study too much for her SPM!”

The number was shocking, and theinformation was passed quietly among the parents who have children who will besitting for SPM in December. Even if this is a rumor, we all know that thetruth is not far behind. In the past few months, two top students I knowcommitted suicide, one passed away. Everyone who knew them was shocked over the incidences. They couldn’tdeal with parental pressures to achieve “A’ in all exams, and they were toldthat they would have no future if they didn’t get scholarship to universities.So when school exams came, one panicked and did very badly while the other onewas so worried about the government exams that he preferred to ‘finish’ hislife before exams came.

There were also a few whom I knew over thelast two years, who broke down crying in school, shivering in front of theirclassmates because they were so worried about facing their parents with theirschool results. And these were children who were bright and hardworking. All ofthem have to go to daily tuitions! One tuition class for one subject in the KLarea for one month is about Rm200. Ifone goes to five tuitions for 5 subjects, it is already Rm1000! No wonderparents complain that they need to work harder to earn more for theirchildren’s future and they have no time to talk to their children!

I remember at my daughter’s Standard OnePTA ( Parents Teachers Association) meeting in a Chinese primary school, I wassurprised to find that only a handful of parents did not want more homework fortheir children while majority of the parents wanted the teachers to give morehomework. “This school has low standard cos’ there is not enough homework, “amother dismissed the principal’s suggestion of giving ‘moderate amount’ ofhomework.

I was even more surprised to find that mychild was one of very few who did not have tuition! The other children had been working on private tutors’ writingassignments and rote memorizing vocabulary daily. Only then I realized why theunofficial passing mark in my daughter’s class was ‘75’ instead of ‘50’! I was advised to send my daughter for tuitionbecause she did not pass the ‘75’ mark, she ‘failed’ all her subjects. I argued that a child must be given time togrow at her own pace, not force into a mould. This is what I learnt at the end of the meeting, “Conform to the systemor you are a loser.”

A small talk with some of the parents after the PTArevealed that they themselves did not do well during their own school days.They pressure their children to do well because they believe that high academicperformance is the only way to get good–paying jobs, and a good life. “Mychildren know that if they want money when they grow up, they better study veryhard,’ declared a mother.

I went home feeling like a square peg in a roundhole.

Many parents have spoken to me over the past fewweeks about the increasing pressure to send children for tuition. They feltthat the academic pressure in our educational system is not working out as itis not able to build good characters, instead it churns out children who arefollowers. “I send my children for tuition so that they are not the last onesin class” was the most cited reason.

Florence T, like most parents, didn't go for anytuition until she was in Form 3, and that was only for BM subject. Shebelieves that art and music tuitions are alright because schools do not provideenough classes on these subjects. “Whenparents send their children for tuition in almost every subject, the children haveno life. They should be playing in the park and running around like what Iused to do for fun!”

Some parents believed that they aresuccessful in their careers despite the fact that they did not have tuitionsduring their school days. Reader Pauline wrote, “I did not go to any tuitionuntil Form 5 as my parents thought that it would help me to get the paper qualification. I was not an A student. Igraduated from university in a field I love (initially with much objection frommy parents) and not the one chosen by my parents.”

Another parent proudly declared, “I did not go to universitybut I am doing very well! I never had atuition class until my STPM years and even then, I had basketball games duringmy SPM exams. But I got 5A's in my Form 5 exams.”

MC’s parents emphasized the importance of goodeducation to their children but they did not pressure them to excel. Nevertheless, MC had performed wellacademically, fuelled by her ambition to be famous someday. “I nowrealise that it is abnormal to have a string of As in my report cardor examination certificates, nor does it make me a better person. Even though I am a qualifiedprofessional, I do not consider myself as successful as entrepeneurs who havemade it through sweat and tears without university degrees orprofessional qualification.

“These are the people who should be admired fortheir perseverance, discipline and hard work. These are qualities in aperson that parents should inculcate first and foremost in their childreninstead of sending them for more academic tuitions.

“Perhaps our "educated" peers should takea second look at the standards they have set for their children. Does a doctorwarrant a higher social status and more respect than a hawker even if thedoctor is not competent?

“Wouldn't time spend at the tuition centres bebetter spent at home where parents cultivate social values and character in their children? Is itright for parents to pass on parental responsibilities to teachers inschool? We can’t expect tuition teachers to teach values and buildcharacters.”

Desmond from Kedah believes that parental kiasu attitudecontributes to tuition pressures. He sees children getting back from afternoonschool at 7.15, then rushing for dinner and bathing before they are packed offto tuition at 7.45. He doesn’t think that such exhausted mind will learn anything.

“What about exercise and health? Perhaps parents hope that by the time their children become doctors orrocket scientists, the world would have invented a way to keep the brainworking without the need of cumbersome exercises.

“My wife has been conducting martial arts classes in our neighborhoodcommunity center for over 10 years. She gets more and more frustrated with‘crazy’ parents. Recently, a parent drew a timetable for her son to get ablack-belt as he must excel in everything. Even the martial art classes were tobe cramped between tuition classes. TheStandard 3 student had slacked slightly in his results so he is given moretuitions. When the child couldn’t cope, the parent asked for a few months offfrom the martial art classes in order to get his

A's back!”

Lum knew many friends who setgruelling schedules for their children that include endless tuitions, pianolessons, ballet classes, drawing classes, mental arithmatic, computer lessonsand martial art. These children do not have a break duringweekends. “Whether the child is genuinely keen on learning so much is adifferent matter as most parents send their children to these classes so theyare not seen as ‘out-dated’ and they don’t want to lose face. Pathetic it mayseem, but a lot of parents use their children's academic performance as aconversation topic. They actually hide behind their children's back -pushing them hard for their own fulfillment.”

Is this tuition mania the fault of parents?

Several parents who wrote in also complained thattuition classes are gimmicks for teachers to earn extra money. Children who donot go to some teachers’ private tuitions do badly in exams because the examcontent are not in the textbooks, instead the teachers teach the content onlyin their tuitions. And these content areharder than those in the textbook!

I am reminded of young family members did not dowell in their primary school exams until the parents sent them to teachers’private tuitions to ‘learn the exam questions.’ Children whose parents complained about the tuitions were punished orpurposely neglected in class until all the parents learnt this hard fact --Don’t you dare to complain.

My parents who are retired teachers feel that someyoung teachers are different from those in the old days. Making more money ismore important to them than enjoying the satisfaction of seeing childrenlearning and growing with values.

A story from the Internetgoes like this, “Children are like kites. You spend years trying to get themoff the ground….. Finally, they are airborne. They need more string and youkeep letting it out…..The kite becomes more distant, and you know it won’t belong before that beautiful creature will snap the lifeline that binds youtogether and will soar as meant to soar…free and alone.

Only then do you know thatyou have done your job.”

Have we- parents andteachers - done our best when we burden children with tuitions instead ofgrooming them to fly like kites?

Lost Treasure

2012-02-09T16:32:00.000+08:00

Chong Sheau Ching rediscovers anancient lesson through food and legend.

“Kuo Whai fell deeply in love with abeautiful girl in his village. Unfortunately, she was taken into the Emperor’sPalace as one of his 3000 consorts. Onceshe entered the Palace, not even her own family could ever see her again. The only way Kuo Whai could see her was tobecome a Palace eunuch. He did, and hetoiled for years from a low-level eunuch to one of high position.

Eventually, he became the personal eunuchof the girl, who had become the Emperor’s First Consort. Even though he could not have her as hiswife, he was content just serving her and watching her enjoying her life. For 20 years, he was her confidante. He lived for her and strove to fulfill herdream of becoming the Empress. He wovewebs of deceit and eliminated all her enemies.

Justice Bao eventually found himguilty of murder. Before Kuo Whai wasbeheaded for his crime, he told the new Empress how long he had silently lovedher, and he died with happiness knowing that she was happy.”

I gave a summary of a TV episode on Justice Bao, the famed Judge of ancient China, to myfriend, Lena, fromAzerbaijan -- a country in Central Asia by the Caspian Sea. Matronly Lena is in her mid-fifties and hasbeen married for over 34 years.

Lena is visiting her daughter in KualaLumpur. She finds our multi-cultural TVprograms fascinating. She loves invitingme for Azerbaijani foods, and listening to my translations of local shows. Through our many discussions, I have learnedthings from her that I hadn’t thought of before.

“In Mandarin, people with such undying love areconsidered to be "ji sin". They love totally and are willing to sacrifice everything for theirloved ones. Their love is noble andchaste,” I explained.

Lena was excited. “Kuo Whai’s self-sacrifice and unselfishness is so touching! I love this kind of ancient legend! We have Azerbaijan legends about such noblelove too. We call such love “bouyik mehebet”. It means ‘great love.”

She handed me a plate of Azerbaijan dried injil (figs). “Please take as much as you want.”

“I’ll just take one, thanks. I just had my dinner.”

“You must eat something here. We are talking about love and food meanslove!”

She wentinto the kitchen and brought out several kinds of food. She sliced a piece of pashted (A chilledbean loaf made of minced, cooked kidney beans, garlic, onions and hazel nutsrolled with butter into a loaf) and put it on my plate.

Lena then told me, “In Baku, our capital, the symbol of “bouyik mehebet” isGusgalasir (Maiden Towers) situated right next to the Caspian Sea. They were built in the 11^thcentury. Attached together on one side,they look like an open book.

Legendhas it that the Shah’s daughter, the Princess, fell in love with ashepherd. The Shah was so upset that heordered the towers to be built to house the princess so she couldn’t go meethim. The Gusgalasir is very dark inside,as there are only small windows at the top. It was difficult for the Princess to escape, for the spiral staircasethat connected the floors was steep.

Oneday, when the khazri (gale forcewind) swept through Baku, the Princess leapt from Gusgalasir into the CaspianSea. When the shepherd heard that thePrincess died for him, he climbed up the Gusgalasir with a rope and jumped intothe sea to meet the Princess.

Althoughthe Gusgalasir is a museum now, its legend still moves us deeply.”

Lenaplaced a skewer of lamb kebab(roasted meat) on my plate and covered it with dark pargsimon (a kind of fruit) sauce. “You can’t leave here without tasting my kebab today.”

Shecontinued, “Another famous “bouyik mehebet” story is that of Leili and Majonon. The story is actually based on a gazelle (a poem) written by a 16^thcentury poet, Mohammed Fisuli.

Yousee, Leili, the young woman, was from a very rich family; but Majonan, theyoung man, was from an average family. They fell in love. Majonan’s love for Leili was so great that he behavedabnormally if he didn’t see Leili for a day. The people dubbed him “Mad Majonan”.

Leili’sparents refused to let her marry Majonan. They forced her to marry another rich man’s son. Majonan was so sad that he went to live inthe forest. His friend, a local hero,came to see him. The hero told Majonanhis plan to take Leili by force from her parents’ house so that Majonan couldmarry her.

ButMajonon wouldn’t allow the hero to do it, “I love Leili very much. AlthoughI want her more than anything else in the world, I don’t want to hurt herparents because they love her very much too.”

So hecontinued to live in the forest. Anotherfriend came to tell Majonan that a nice girl was so touched by Majonan’s lovefor Leili that she offered to marry him. Majonan refused, “ I only love one woman. Her name is Leili.”

On Leili’s wedding night, she told her newhusband that she was sick and she couldn’t bed him. He knew about her love for Majonon. So he said, “I don’t mind. We will live as brother and sister until theday you love me.”

Leiliwas so lovesick for Majonon that she died. When Majonon heard the news, he rushed to her grave and died theretoo. Her husband’s love for Leili was sogreat that he never married again.”

A tearrolled from Lena’s eye. “Leili and Majonan’slove was so great that Allah helped them to die together! Songs about their love are still widely sungin Azerbaijan.”

Shewiped her tear and smiled. “It’s sotouching!” She took a “too-shookhiyar”(cucumber pickled with parsley) from a big jar and sliced it on my plate. “Youmust eat some too-shookhiyar for health. We can’t talk so much about love and not takecare of your health!”

WhenLena sat down to watch me eat, another tear rolled down her cheek. “During every wedding anniversary, my husbandand I think about Leili and Majonon’s story. We are so grateful that our parents allowed us to marry, even though myhusband is from a much richer family and we were of different religions. The story makes us appreciate and treasureour marriage.”

“Imiss him so much even though I am just here for a short time.”

I wasjust about to finish the cucumber when Lena plopped my favorite dolmah (cabbage roll with rice andminced meat) on the plate. “Today’sdolmah is made from my grandmother’s recipe. She learned it from my great-grandmother.”

She sat thoughtfully on her chair for severalmoments before she said, “I read a lotof translations of ancient literature written by writers in many cultures. I have the impression that the people inancient times were simpler, more innocent and more sincere than we are. They valued true and long lastingrelationships. They gave more than theytook from others. We, the modern people,are more pragmatic and we think about ourselves more than our loved ones.

In mycountry, the older people are more committed to marriage than the youngerpeople, who value their own personal needs. Divorce is increasing among them. It saddens old people like me who still recite Mohammed Fusili’s poemson “bouyik mehebet”. Younger peoplethink such love is silly and self-sacrifice is nonsense.

But Istill believe that the world can only be happy with “bouyik mehebet”. Don’t you think life would be so much moreworthwhile if we loved like those in the ancient times? Don’t you think life would be so much moremeaningful if we gave more and took less?”

The Peanut Butter Woman

2012-02-09T12:15:00.001+08:00

Iwas visiting a poor village near Manila in the Philippines with Mrs Amelia andGina. The village was inhabited by several hundred families, allcramped into small, dilapidated, wooden houses. The local men weremostly labourers and petty traders while the women took care of householdchores or helped their husbands in odd jobs.

MrsAmelia was the head of an organization called Giving Hope, which had communityprojects in the area, and Gina was one of the social workers. GivingHope was conducting health and sanitary education for the people. Aftera few years, however, they realized that improving the health and sanitaryconditions meant helping people out of poverty first. To do this,Giving Hope Board of Management started income-generation projects. Theydecided to help the poorest of the poor women first.

Thedecision was received well by all the staff in the organization, but they couldnot decide on how to go about it. Mrs Amelia wanted to travel to aWestern country to ask several international donor agencies for a large amountof money so that Giving Hope could set up a chicken farm that employed localwomen and sold the chickens in the markets. But the social workers,like Gina, proposed conducting trainings in small business management so thatthe women could become self-reliant.

MrsAmelia's theory was simple: "These women're poor because theydon't have jobs. All they need is jobs which will provide them withenough money to buy food, clothes and other essentials. They shouldbe paid slightly more than other farm labourers to give them incentive to workhard in the farm. We don't want to exploit them, youknow." She explained her plan to me excitedly as we walkedaround. Her red high heels thudded against the hard ground,affirming what she said.

"Ha,we should also give them subsidies to make their lives easier. Whenthey buy chickens and eggs for their families' meals, they should get a bigdiscount for working in the farm." Then she tugged at herwell-tailored red suit and straightened her back. She was proud ofherself for the idea.

Handsfolded in front of her cotton skirt, Gina walked humbly along side her boss andasked timidly, "Do you think the farm'll make any profit so thatit can operate on its own in the future without any outsidefunding?"

"Profit? Ofcourse not. We're a non-profit organization and we need money forevery project we do! The farm's not a business; it's a means to giveemployment to these poor people so that they can escape poverty! We'llneed donor's money every year!" Mrs Amelia laughed.

"Thedonors may not give money to us for such a large project. And it takes a long time to get afarm going. These women could be waiting for a longtime." Avoiding eye contact, Gina spoke haltingly to herboss. "If we give them some simple training in... how to do asmall business, they could start right away... to make a living... we wouldn'thave to depend on donors for support."

"They've been poor all this while! There'sno reason why they can't wait till everything's ready! Theycan't tell us what to do! They should be grateful that we're helpingthem." Mrs Amelia reprimanded her. "They don'tneed the kind of training you say. This kind of training is forpeople who have a lot of time. You should know better than tosuggest this, Gina!

"See,they are busy women." She pointed at a group of women washingtheir clothes by the public tap. "They don't have time forthings that can't give them money, food, and clothes!"

"Theywould make time if we gave them the training they needed!" Ginasaid as she turned her face away, avoiding Mrs Amelia's dirty look.

"Howcan you say this? This kind of training will be a waste of projectmoney and staff time. What they need is just jobs." MrsAmelia looked straight into Gina's face and continued, "I have been thehead of Giving Hope for ten years and I've gone to university to study socialscience, do you think I don't know what these people need?"

Pointingat Gina with her long painted nails, she snorted, "Let me tell yousomething -- When my husband first started his job with a construction company20 years ago, he didn't have any money. Over the years, he gotpromoted and he has been receiving better and better salaries. Now,we have a house, a car and we go on holidays overseas. Do you tellme that the same principles do not apply to these people?"

Ginadid not reply. She pursed her thin lips as if she was trying tochoke back something she wanted to say. Mrs Amelia looked at her andsmiled triumphantly.

Weentered a community hall where a group of women were gathered for a health talkfor conducted by Giving Hope. Gina introduced Mrs Amelia and I toall the women who were present and told us about their backgrounds.

Oneof them was Alise. Her husband was an odd-job worker and theyhad eight children, aged one toten. Since Alise's husband could not earn enough for thefamily, Alise sold jars of home-made peanut butter to a grocery shopin a nearby middle-class residential area.

"Ithink we can teach her how to market her peanut butter better so that she canmake more money. That won't take too much of our time and it doesn'tcost the project any money." Gina said cautiously.

"How?" MrsAmelia was clearly annoyed at Gina's insistence.

"Shetold me that the shopkeeper gives her 12 pesos for each jar of peanut butterthat he sells for 25 pesos. She thinks that she's making a profit ofa few pesos per jar. I think the shopkeeper is paying her too littlefor her peanut butter. If we teach her some simple profit-and-losscalculation and how to sell her peanut butter directly to her customers, shecan make more money than what she's getting now."

MrsAmelia stared at Gina for a long time. She then turned to ask Alise ifshe would like to sell her peanut butter herself instead of selling them to theshop.

"Naheheyah (shy)! Not me! I can't do things like that!" With one handcovering her mouth, Alise giggled. She was uneasy aboutthe suggestion.

MrsAmelia turned to face Gina with a broad smile. She was amused. "Ifyou think you can teach her how to sell peanut butter, you can do so after yourworking hours."

WhenGina heard that, her face broke into a happy smile. "Thank you,Mrs Amelia." She said as she looked warmly at Alise.

I didn't hear anything from Mrs Amelia about her farmproject after that. Several months later, she invited me to attend a thankyou party given by the village to Giving Hope.

Thevillage head and several other villagers gave thank you speeches, bouquets offlowers, and sweet cakes to Mrs Amelia, who represented Giving Hope. Alise wasone of the villagers who spoke.

Herspeech was fascinating when it was translated to me. "Lasttime, I thought I was poor because I was stupid and I didn't have any abilityto make money like the rich people. One day, the staff from GivingHope told me, "Alise, you must start seeing yourself as a strong and smartwoman, then your life'll change. Do something about yourpeanut butter and you can make your life different." I didn'treally believe them but I followed their suggestions. After that,they taught me how to calculate things, like the cost of the peanuts and jarsthat I bought. They showed me how much money I could make if I soldat different prices. One day, they said, "Now, you must go andsell the peanut butter to the people. No more selling to the shop."

"Iwas afraid. They told me to look at the mirror every day and say,"My peanut butter is the best. Buy a jar for your family and youwon't regret it!"

Isaid it everyday. One day, I went to those houses over there. Isaw a woman and I said, "My peanut butter is the best. Buy a jar foryour family and you won't regret it!" She bought ajar. After that, many people bought my peanut butter.

"Nowthey call me Ne-gla-lakoh Nang Peanut Butter (the Peanut ButterWoman)! My husband has quit his labourer's job and he is helping me in mypeanut butter business! I am very happy and I want to thankGiving Hope for helping me."

Theaudience broke into applause led by Gina, who sat next to me in the frontrow. She beamed at Alise like a proud mother on graduationday. Alise returned her smile with a reverent nod. Shethen turned to Mrs Ameila and presented her with a jar of her peanutbutter wrapped beautifully with a red ribbon. The audience applaudedagain ad Mrs Amelia stepped up to the podium.

"Thisis very special", she said, "that one woman has been successfulthrough Giving Hope. We promise you that we will continue to helpall of you prosper like Alise has. Soon we will have a largechicken farm where all of you can receive jobs..."

I heard Gina release a long, frustrated sigh.

Gifts of Love

2012-02-09T11:49:00.001+08:00

What affect a child’s values- education system or the family? CSCponders.

“What are you doinghere? You look like you are in pain!” Anacquaintance bumped into me in a shopping mall.

My toes were hurting fromthe new sandals after an hour of search through the huge complex to find aparticular ice cream parlor. I wanted totreat my parents some low fat frozen yogurt that tastes like ice cream. They have restrained from their favorite icecream as they are wearied of the fat content.

“You are always doing thingsI don’t understand……” She commented. “Just get any ice cream from any store will do! Why torture yourself like this? It isinteresting to see you acting like a villager even though you have beeneducated and exposed overseas.....”

By the time I found thestore, there was a big, bloody blister on one of my toes. I walked bare foot through the complex to thetaxi stand with two tubs of frozen yogurt, attracting curious glances fromother shoppers.

I thought about the acquaintance’scomment in the taxi. “Why is it that Idon’t see this yogurt incidence as something silly or a torture to myself?”

“Didn’t Cousin A and CousinB went all out to do something special for Uncle C and Auntie D?” I searched mymind for answers.

It wasn’t long ago, when myimmediate family took my father out for Father’s Day. After a big dinner, my brother decided totreat my father with one of his favorite foods -- ice cream. We unanimously

agreed to go to the icecream parlor with the low fat frozen yogurt. Since we hadn’t been there forquite a while, it took several rounds of cruising to find the block of shophouses. Two cars of occupants thenwalked all around the block trying to find the parlor with conflictingdirections from passer-bys.

Finally, a police patrolconfirmed that it had moved. Then we cruised to another area and found the icecream parlor had closed down. It was10.30pm by the time we found the third one who had by then closed for the day. My sister called her friends asking forsuggestions. We went to Bangsar but wecouldn’t find any parking place.

It was 11.30pm when wecruised down the high way to go home without any ice cream. The kids were allsleeping in the cars. My sister’s mobile phone rang. It was one of her friendswhom she called an hour ago. “You guysare crazy!” he laughed.

Unfazed, we went to the icecream parlor the next day.

Some of the things my familydoes sound very silly for outsiders, but the family doesn’t think so. A few of my cousins are known throughout theextended family for their caring acts. My brother still carries bags of specialfragrant rice from a neighboring country to Ipoh for my parents who love therice. Although the rice could be purchased in Ipoh, his reasoning is: the brandI bought is certified 100% top grade fragrant rice. Years before, he hauledcans of foods unavailable here to treat my parents.

Doing things for our parentsaren’t burdens. The attitude has to do with the education system we camefrom. All of us studied in Chineseschools where ‘shio’ (filial piety), a Confucian value, was taught earnestly inour days. We grew up knowing that we must return the care our parents shower onus.

In other words, ‘filialpiety’ is a part of living. When onereceives, one must give back.

We have all studied theclassical Chinese literature, the “Twenty Four ‘shio’ “. I first read some ofthe chapters when I was in Standard Four. The teacher, Mr H, who was a father himself, told us why we must ‘shio’our parents and expressed our gratitude in many ways. He asked each one of us what we had done forour parents for ‘shio’. The classgiggled whenever someone couldn’t answer or when the teacher cracked jokes onour lack of enthusiasm.

He reprimanded me once whenI couldn’t tell him what I would do for my mother in a similar situation citedin one of the chapters. “She carried you for nine months in her belly and havebeen taking care of you since, you don’t even know how to make her smile?”

I don’t remember what Chinesecharacters I learnt in his classes, but I remember his vivid stories about‘shio’, moral values, undying family love, patriotism, and true friendship.“Shio’ was embedded in my mind even more when I had to study some chapters from“Twenty Four ‘Shio’ “ in classicalChinese while in secondary school.

Now that I’m a mother, Mr Hand the ‘shio’ stories have come back to my mind symbolizing human values Iwant to see in my daughter, Little R.

Sadly, the education systemnow is so exam oriented that teachers have little time to tell moral storieslike they used to. The Chinese textbooks in primary school hardly teach students with classical legends. Students are force-crammed with vocabulariesand the exact answers to exam questions to get high marks. Getting 60 and 70marks mean you are a failure in certain schools. Their worth is now evaluated by how much theycan absorb from the spoon-feeding, not how much they actually learn in order todecide how to live their lives as grown ups.

When Little R, startedStandard One this year, I went back to Ipoh to my parents’ house to look for“Twenty Four ‘Shio’” among stacks of old books. I brought it back to KL and started reading it to her at bedtime.

There are stories about menand women who took care of their aging or ailing parents in many ways. Stories such as laying on the bed in thewinter to warm it up first before parents slept on it, laying on icy river toattract the attention of a particular kind of fish that a mother craved,quitting an official’s post to return to home town to take care of the ailingfather and tasting his feces and urine to determine the extent of the illness.(There was no litmus paper to test feces and urine several centuries ago!)

Little R likes the storiesvery much for one of them is about Mulan, the girl who bravely went intobattlefield on behalf of her father, knowing that she would be beheaded if everanyone discovered that she wasn’t a boy.

She has translated ‘shio’into English -- Love You Forever.

I am relieved that sheunderstands what I treasure in life.

-Chong Sheau Ching

All Those Bananas

2012-02-09T10:58:00.000+08:00

Although I was always a regular contestant for elocutioncontests in school,

public speaking still gives me occasional butterflies in mystomach.

The most unnerving is impromptu speaking. My whole body

goes on alert whenever I have to give a speech on the spotbecause the

scheduled speaker has just developed a sore throat or hasjust left due to

a quarrel with his wife.

The first minute of the speech is the hardest. My mind goes blank when I

look out and see hundreds of pairs of eyes staring back atme. Coming out

with something meaningful and appropriate for the

occasion in an audience of total strangers is more than justchallenging.

The most difficult time of all is when the organizers tellme to "lighten up the whole place so we don't all fall asleep".

Closing my eyes for several seconds, I often muster courageand

inspiration by bringing myself back to the night when I wasgiven

thunderous applause for my first impromptu speech.

I was one of a handful of women among 200 College ofAgriculture

students attending a public speaking class in a huge lecturehall at my

university in Canada. Everyone was Canadian, except me. My relationship

with most of them was limited to quick smiles and animpersonal "hi'. A

few of them knew that I was from Malaysia but they had noidea about our

lifestyle.

Coming from the prairie farms, my classmates were used toanimals - cattle,

horses, pigs, dogs and sheep. They helped their families in husbandry

chores such as mating, feeding and birthing, and thereforewere familiar with

animal anatomy and behaviors. They were vibrant young menwith hormones

bursting from their seams. Our classes were often filledwith jokes about

animals and the human anatomy.

They viewed the world from young male farmers' eyes, whereasI looked at

everything from my Ipoh eyes -- hawker stalls, durian, keowteow, Ipoh

chicken, fish balls, and nasi lemak.

It was a dark, cold winter night. The wind howled relentlessly. "Ssshh,

ssshh, ssshh", bone-chilling gusts of wind seepedthrough the tiny slits

between the windows and the walls. Although I was dressed in a thick wool sweater, I shivered from frightful anticipation -- twenty of us would be chosen at random to give impromptu speeches. The score would contribute to our final exam score.

My classmates seemed to be very relaxed about theevening. They were chewing gum, chit-chatting and listening to theirWalkmen. "They have all done impromptu speaking in high schools. They know what to do! Me, sure die-one!" Ithought nervously.

The class was silent when Professor H went up thestage. "Ladies and

gentlemen, this evening is going to be exciting. Some of you'll get a

chance to hone your impromptu speaking skills. I'll randomly select the

lucky ones through your student numbers. When I call your number, come up

to the rostrum and pick a topic from this box. Each of you will have five

minutes. I'll be yourtimekeeper. After all the speeches,you'll vote the

best speaker for the evening."

A student went up the stage when his number wasannounced. He gingerly

picked up a piece of paper from the box and read his topicto us, "Driving a

tractor". "Piece of cake." He said to themicrophone. He talked non-stop until

Professor H rang the bell for "time's up". Another student was called.

She talked about her best friend. The next student stammered on his speech

about downhill skiing. Others spoke on subjects ranging from farm work to

university life. Somespeakers had interesting stories while others rattled

on and on.

The night was going smoothly without any excitement. We clapped at the end

of each speech and Professor H nodded his head, "Goodjob." I heaved a big

sigh when the second-to-last speaker finished herspeech. "It won't be me, I

know it." Ithought to myself as I relaxed my near two-hour upright sitting

position and slouched on the chair.

"783!….. Ss-sau…. Ching…. Choooong, the last lucky gal for the evening."

Professor H's big blue eyes scanned the hall from above hisbi-focals.

My heart skipped. Mybody stiffened. My toes numbed. My fingers froze.

My cheeks burnt.

And my butt hurt.

"Coming up?" A bolt of thunder struck the air.

I couldn't remember what happened until Professor H came tothe rostrum and

lowered the microphone to my height. "You're a small lady!" He smiled.

"The last piece of paper in the box has your topic!"

With trembling hands, I unfolded the paper and saw the word"Banana". My

heart did a somersault while my mind ran like a headlesschicken screaming

silently, "Haah? Baah-naah-naah-s!"

Closing my eyes, I called silently for my ancestors to blessme. I saw in

my mind a familiar bunch of "pisang emas" hangingon a long hook from the

wooden ceiling beam of the grocery shop near my street inIpoh. Ah Poh (my

granmother) and I showed up every evening to buy a bunch ofbananas. "Only

"dua-puluh kupang" (Malay: twenty cents) for mygood neighbors. Very good

"pisang, just ripe." Hap Seng, the big bellied proprietor gave ushis

usual big smile that revealed his two golden front teeth.

I blinked my eyes. 200 pairs of Canadian blue, grey, brown and green eyes

glared mercilessly at me.

"OK, ready?" Professor H pressed the bell.

I took a deep breath and blurted, "I come from Malaysia. It is a tropical

country, very hot, not like here, very cold. Because it's hot, we have a

lot of bananas. Here,it's so cold you can't grow any bananas. " The

students smiled.

"Banana is a fruit. It is long and round. Butsometimes it is short and

tiny." Someonesnickered.

"In Malaysia, we have many kinds of bananas. There are big bananas and small bananas. Somebanana skins are brown. Some are golden,some are yellow, and some have black spots all over. The bananas inside the skin are milky in color. But here, your banana skins are green andyour bananas inside are very white." Cackles bellowed from the audience.

"I don't like your bananas. They are too big, too hard, too white andthey

don't have any taste." Giggles reverberated across the hall as my mind

wondered what was going on.

"I like our bananas better. They are small but they taste verygood."

Surprised by the outburst of laughter, I stared at theaudience with

disbelief.

When the laughter subsided, I continued, "The bestbananas are the small

ones. They tastesweet and their smell is so delicious that you want to eat

more and more until you're full of bananas." Another round of laughter

swept across the hall. My nervousness increased as I searched my mind for

what I had said wrong.

"Bananas are a very strange fruit. It becomes black and soft if you don't

eat it after a few days. So you should eat the banana right away as soon

as you see it. " The audience roared with laughter.

"Bananas are my favorite fruit. I've been eating bananas all my life. I

eat them any time of the day. But here you eat bananas only during

breakfast." Confused, I waited for the laughter to wanebefore I continued.

" I eat my bananas by holding them upright between mythumb and my index

finger. I just eat itlike this without anything else." Abarrage of

cackles and whistles burst out. I was so confused that my legs were

trembling.

"But here, you eat your bananas only after you'vechopped them into

pieces." My hands trembled as I waited for the laughterto subside. "You eat them withbread and other things."

"I don't think bananas taste good if you don't eat itby holding the whole

thing in your hand. You've to eat it the right way if you want to enjoy a

banana." The bell rang in the midst of loud cheers.

I concluded quickly, "I love bananas. Everyone loves bananas. Don't you

love bananas?"

The hall erupted in an uproar. "Of course, we do!" the audienceresponded.

My classmates cheered as I trembled down the stage.

The class voted me as the best speaker for the evening.

Losing GG

2012-02-08T18:30:00.000+08:00

In the morning of February18, I connected to the Internet, after a week’s Chinese New Year holiday, tofind tons of mail in my mail box. I wasin high spirit until I read a mail from an old friend, GG, who had not contactedme for over half a year. She is livingin the US now.

She has been diagnosed witha rare form of cancer with no known cure. With treatment, she can have another15-20 years. But the disease is going to sap her physical energy greatly.

She wrote, “I hate to feel‘bad’. It is not me! There will be moretests, surgeries, and monthly injections of a chemical. I think I’m losinginterest in life………no more adventures, no more cooking, no more livelyconversations with strangers.

“9-11 certainly caughteveryone's attention where I live, it continues to stay ‘front and center’ ineveryone's mind. I have traveled by airsince 9-11, and have felt secure - or was it just my fatalistic view. When it's my time, it's my time....”

I read the mail severaltimes in disbelief. She had been one of the most optimistic and adventurouspersons I know!

For the rest of the day, Iwas in a daze. The word ‘cancer’ was all over my mind.

It was giving me goosepimples.

I recounted the number ofpeople I know who have cancer or had died from the illness: a friend with braintumor and breast cancer; a neighbor with nose cancer; another neighbor died ofskin cancer a few years ago; and several women acquaintances with breast orovarian cancer. In some cases, the cancer was discovered at the mostunfortunate times: divorce, financial setbacks, and death of a family member.The initial shock reverberated through the patients’ personal networks.

Why are these happening?They are good people!

As a nutrition student in aCanadian university, I did practical training in counseling depressed cancerpatients who refused to eat. The word‘cancer’ didn’t affect me emotionally for I was looking at the illness purelyfrom a medical viewpoint. I didn’t knowthe patients personally. All I had to dowas counseling and writing reports on how their eating habits were changed bycounseling.

I didn’t go into this lineafter graduation. After years of meetingand knowing people with cancer, I now look at ‘cancer’ from a personal angle.The illness changes patients’ life entirely; it could spur them to write brandnew chapters in life or pull them downwards in a spiral with other setbacks.

People interpreted itdifferently: ‘a wake-up call’, ‘part-and parcel of life cycle’, ‘a punishmentfor sins in the last life’, ‘God’s plan to change for the better’, or “God iscalling for a reason’.

Still in shock, I lookedthrough the e-mail GG sent me last year before she disappeared from cyberspace.She wrote about her hobby – visiting places not frequented by tourists. Her mail made me envious of all the thingsshe saw.

“Dearie, you missed one ofthe biggest events of the year which was the

Annual Possum Festival forthree weeks in Wassau, Florida. Amazingevents: Little Possum King and Queen Contest; Possum Gospel Singing; Possum King and Queen Contest; Men, Women andChildren’s Hog Callin’ contest; pancake breakfast; bluegrass music and strongquartet in praise of possums; performances by local artists and those from otherstates; clogging (a kind of community dance); Possum Parade; Possum Jam andCornpone (American Indian bread) Baking Contest; and Senior Citizens WausauQuilt Club Auction.” She detailed all the events with excitement. Her wordswere alive on the computer screen.

“We bid for a quilt createdby a group of ladies, the eldest was 92 years-old. We didn’t get it for the ladies didn’t likeus! They posed for my camera. Cute!” Icould hear her laughing.

“Then.....the annual POSSUMAUCTION! Eight of these little long-nosed, long-tailed, scraggly-furredcritters were held up by their tails, one at a time, and each was auctioned offseparately. Each of them cost more than the quilt!

“I was intrigued, so I askedthe fella who raised these little critters, ‘What's the difference betweenthese creatures and the ones roaming in my backyard at night?’

“His reply was that theywere exactly the same. I asked him whatI could do with those in my yard - hoping that he would offer to buy the ones Icaught in my backyard…so I could make a bundle.

“His response was, ’Shoot‘em, or eat ‘em – not much good for nuthin’ else.’

“When U come to visit me,you will get curried or claypot possum. So be prepared.” Her laughter rang in my ears. I remembered the delicious dishes she made inher dinners.

Then she went on to tell meabout the funny bets she made with people she met in the Festival. She won and made new friends. They exploredthe Festival together. It was so likeher.

“We had worked up a mightythirst, so we moved over to the place where four men were dipping ice water outof tin tubs, under a large homemade sign which read, "Blessed are ThoseWho Thirst, for They Shall Be Satisfied"(In Wassau, no alcohol is served.)

“Then we had the specialtyof the day -- Possum 'n Taters! The meattasted like shredded beef!” She spentthe rest of the day participating in all kinds of events with her new friends,blacks and whites.

The next mail she wrote wasa detailed description of the Annual Gopher Race and the environmental work shewas involved in.

Another one was about the"Antiques Roadshow" in New Orleans. “People took their familytreasures to the big auditorium where 70 antiques appraisers are ready toexamine and place a monetary value on the items. People came with large chairs, tables, carvedwooden pieces from ships, giant ivory veneered incense urns, oil paintings, andeverything else in size right down to the fine jewelry. If an item were of significant value orinterest, one was asked to sign a legal form of one kind and quickly ushered tothe "green room" where the owners got pancake makeup applied tofaces. Then, an appraiser and the owner were ushered out into middle of thecrowded floor once

again, where an area wasbrightly lit and surrounded by TV cameras. There, the owner would be interviewed by the appraiser and told thevalue of the item, for the first time.”

“We had a jolly good timetrying to get into the ‘show’ with our Asian stuff. Lovely!!” An animated face speaking excitedly camealive in my mind.

“Am I going to ‘lose’ GG aswho she was?” I asked myself loudly. Thequestion disturbed my sense of hope.

Duringthe afternoon tea-break, a bookmark with this saying from Vietnamese Zen MasterThick Nhat Hanh caught my eye, “People deal too much with the negative, withwhat is wrong. Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those thingsand make them bloom?”

Iread it over and over again that day. The calm, smiling face of M, anotherfriend, who has been suffering from Parkinson’s Disease came alive. When she was living in KL, she took minibuses and walked all over to explore the rich cultural fabric even though shehad difficulty with physical movements. She saw the joy of life in everything she encountered. She wrote storiesabout what she saw with her pen in her trembling hand. She also did oilpaintings of people she met and told fabulous stories about them.

Duringthat time, I had a personal setback. Itwas her stories that inspired me to keep going. She was determined to live fully every moment of her life despite herdebilitating illness that was taking away her integrity gradually. When she couldn’t write with a pen, shelearnt computer so she could write with the keyboard.

ThereI was, healthy and still young, moaning about a small loss and thinking that mylife ended then. She put me to shame with her determination, “When I can’twrite or draw with the computer, I would draw by holding a brush in mymouth.”

Whywas I complaining? I decided to moveon.

Thatnight, I wrote GG a e-mail, urging her to start adventuring again and embark onan online journal. I told her about a woman with a terminal illness, whoseonline journal was so popular that millions logged on to read about her dailylife.

Shereverted immediately, “I’m coming to Malaysia this year. Can you recommend some unusual events for meto visit?”

TheYear of the Dragon in 2012 is going to be a powerful year where negative thingsare going to transformed into positive happenings. I will help her to write herjournal with vibrant colors. Most ofall, I want to help her to dance like a Dragon- fly, flip, swing, turnaround –even if it is all in her mind, just to see her smile happily!

In the lands of Coffee

2012-02-08T16:36:00.000+08:00

I gave our orders to the kedai kopi proprietor as he wipedhis sweaty forehead with a white Good-morning towel. Flipping it over hisshoulder, he yelled to the back of the shop, “Kopi susu DU-A! (two milkcoffee)” His round belly raised proudly into the air, almost bursting thethreads on his white singlet. His powerful voice, reverberating within the fourwalls of the shop, came to a crescendo at the last word.

Babara, my visiting Canadian friend, covered her ears withher palms. “Wow, he’s so loud!”

“You ain’t see nothing yet! Watch how the man there makesour coffee!” I nudged Mary to turn her head to the back area of the shop.

The man, dressed just like the proprietor, was standing infront of a big round bronze pot with cooking gas burning menacingly underneath.He grabbed the handle of a long bronze spoon and – Pang! -- flipped open thepot with the other hand. Boiling water bubbled noisily inside. Without a singlegrimace at the mass of steam rushing onto his face, he dipped the spoon intothe pot. Next, he lifted a long cheesecloth sack with a bamboo handle out of abig yellow tin mug. The end of the sack bulged slightly with coffee grains. Heheld the sack high in the air and poured hot water from the spoon. The water streamedinto the yellow mug without spilling a single drop. Then he rested the sack bythe mug and let it soak in the hot water.

He placed two short white ceramic cups with faint bluedesigns on two white saucers and dropped a small teaspoon into each cup. Hepoured condensed milk into the cups and poured coffee from the yellow mug intothe cups. He filled the cups to the brim till the coffee spilt over onto thesaucers.

The proprietor, with the towel still on his shoulder,gracefully brought the saucers with the cups to our table. He placed them ontothe table with a slight bang, spilling more coffee onto the saucers. “Liong mun(Cantonese: 2 ringgit)” He held out his palm.

Mary was enchanted by what she saw. “Wow! This is neat! Thatguy made the coffee as if he was doing something simple!” She took a deepbreath of the coffee aroma. “This smells really good! It’s so fresh! Do I drinkthe spilled coffee from the saucer too?”

“In coffee shops like this, they do every thing so fast thatthe coffee comes spilled on the saucers. We just leave it there for goodlooks!“

Mary dipped her finger into the spilled brew and tasted it.“Uum, it has a strong earthy taste, unlike the Ethiopian coffee which hasfloral and winey flavor!”

Mary grew up in Ethiopia, an East African country. Herfamily went back to Canada when she was 16. Her family loves coffee. When Ivisited their home in Canada, I was shown a whole closet full of jarscontaining gourmet coffee beans and blends from all over the world. There wereSouth American, African and Indonesian coffees in a wide range of roasts andspecial flavors. I was treated with freshly brewed coffee and Ethiopian travelstories all day long.

I showed Mary how to stir up the condensed milk beforedrinking. Like her family, Mary couldn’t stop talking about coffee whiledrinking it. “Do you know that Ethiopians believe that the world’s coffeeoriginated from Kaffa province, their most prominent coffee growing province?The Yirgacheffe people, a minority sect of Coptic Christians, grow coffee asthey have for centuries, in terraced plots worked by the entire family at theextreme altitude of 8,000 feet!

My brothers and I picked coffee during one of our schoolholidays when we visited the province. We were the center of attention in thevillage. The local kids surrounded us, admiring our clean hands as theirs wereoily from years of squeezing red coffee beans!”

Mary sipped the coffee slowly as she once again showed methe world she knew. “The word “coffee” is said to come from the word “Kaffa”.There’re many legends about the origin of coffee. The most popular one is aboutKaldi, a farmer who noticed that his goats became noisy and naughty afterchewing the bright red berries from a tree. He ate some and felt an upsurge ofenergy. He brought the berries back to his village, boiled them in water andfed them to his lazy sons. They immediately became restless and started to workaround the farm. And so coffee spread to the rest of the country and to theworld!"

Mary took a sip of the coffee, closed her eyes and let itcourse down her throat slowly. “This coffee tastes like heaven! Uum!”

Her Ethiopian coffee spirit shone through her smiling eyeswhen she finally opened them. “Do you know Ethiopians are among the highestcoffee consumers in the world?”

“Ethiopians can live without electricity, cars or otherluxuries, but they can’t live without coffee. Unlike the kedai kopi here wherecustomers eat and drink fast, the Ethiopians sit around for hours, taking timeto appreciate the coffee as they socialize. Coffee is so important to theirsocial life that social gatherings and visits must start off with a century-oldcoffee ceremony near the host’s mud house.”

“The ceremonial highlight is the roasting of the beans. Theymust be roasted just right, otherwise the coffee tasted flat or acidic. The menin my village grew and harvested the coffee all by hand but it was the womenwho roasted the beans at home. Roasting the beans to their peak of flavor tookyears of experience. Daughters learned from their mothers before they gotmarried. “

“During the ceremony, the guests sat on stools in asemicircle in a compound often surrounded by banana trees. The circle faced thestove, a small implement made of two bricks. The lady of the house would takeout a bag of green coffee beans from among her treasure troves of food in thehouse. She then lit a fire in the stove to roast the beans on a mighat (a tinsaucepan). Lumps of frankincense or myrrh were added to the coals, filling theair with perfume."

“Everyone watched the roasting as they chitchatted. The beans were considereddone when the oils were just breaking out from the skin. The hostess thencarried the pan around to the group. Everyone must make elaborate gestures tosmell the beans and say, “Good, good!”

She then ground the beans in a wooden urn, or with pestleand mortar before she boiled the fine powder in a jabana (a round bottomed,ebony-colored clay pot). The powder was used to brew coffee only once. Afterletting the grounds settle, the coffee was poured into small cups with sugarand fresh milk."

"I could never get used to the traditional way ofdrinking the coffee with salt and rancid butter but the Ethiopian coffeeappreciation spirit is sure with me everywhere I go!” Mary emptied the cup inone gust.

She turned to the back area of the kedai. “Kopi susu DU-A!”Her voice reached a high pitched at the last note. Stunned, the drinks manlooked across the room at Mary. Mary repeated her order. He smiled as the massof steam from the pot rushed onto him.

A Mother's Dream

2012-02-08T16:07:00.000+08:00

(CSC finds out that themost precious gift a Chinese mother can give to a daughter during mid-Autumnfestival is not just moon cakes, but to teach her to dream freely. She recallsan inspiring story which led to her parenting of her daughter.)

An American friend, Ger, told me why he became anelectronics engineer for a high-tech Silicon Valley firm in California.

“I was about six years old when I saw the Apollo 11 moonlanding on our old black-and- white television. The men in their strangehelmets and suits mesmerized me. Watching them pressing numerous buttons and floating aroundweightlessly, I asked my Dad who they were. He said they were called astronautsand that they were inside a thing called rocket. Men who built rockets were called engineers.

“When the program was over, I was so fascinated that I toldmy parents I wanted to go inside a rocket and do the same thing. I remembered my Mom said as she hugged me,“Of course you can be an astronaut. Youcan be anything you want!” My Dad pattedmy head, “Son, you will if you dream it.”

“Since that day, I’ve been very interested in machines andtools. Watching my Dad fixing TV's, electric appliances and cars only added tomy growing captivation by machines. My boy cousins and I played astronaut gamesin my treehouse and in my room!

“I didn’t like schoolwork. All I wanted was to build machines -- especially rockets! My parents weren’t very strict about school,but they made a deal with me. “You areallowed to experiment with machines as long as you try your best in school.”

“So, I experimented with as many machines as I could and I’mstill experimenting now! I’ve notforgotten my dream of building a rocket yet!” Ger laughed happily, his eyes sparkling behind his glasses.

“That’ll be fantastic! I’m sure your dream will come true,” I said. “I wish I had built a dream like yours when Iwatched Apollo 11 on TV!”

I remembered that night very well. My whole family was in front of ournewly-purchased, second-hand, black-and-white TV. Everyone was very excited to see men landingon the moon where Chan Er , the Chinese Moon Goddess, lived in legend. I remembered my father commenting in awe, “ChanEr doesn’t exist on the moon!”

Ah Poh (grandmother) peered through her bifocals as she saidin disbelief, “I’m sure she’s there. Sheis hiding because these white men are frightening her.” The women all agreed with her.

One of my aunts chimed in, “She must be frightened becausethey speak English and they are wearing astronaut clothes!”

A heated discussion about Chan Er and the astronauts brokeout among the family. In the end,everyone agreed that there were two moons, one for the white men and one forChan Er.

We children listened with fascination, but none of usthought about going to the moon. In ourminds, it was something reserved for white men in very advanced and richcountries.

We didn’t dream like Ger did.

As a young girl, I didn’t know any dream other than mymother’s and my grandmothers’ before me – to marry a good Ipoh Chinese manwhose family owned a house and to be a good wife. A blank-faced man used to come into mychildhood dreams frequently carrying a red thread, the symbol of marriage. Although I studied hard in school, I knewthat my dream was my destiny.

Luckily, Malaysia’s rapid development in the seventies andeighties slowly changed the views of my Ipoh community. There was a growing awareness that girlscould get better paying jobs and be better positioned to “catch” richerhusbands if they were given higher education. Like many girls in secondary school, I quietly nurtured a dream in thesmallest corner of my mind -- to go to university.

When I was offered the unthinkable opportunity to go touniversity, I dared only to dream a girl’s wildest dream -- study something“suitable” for girls, as defined by my community. Physics and engineering subjects frightenedme. I had never dreamt of mastering orcreating technology. It wasn’t for me --the girl from Ipoh.

My dream was fulfilled when I received my universitydegree. Then, life began to unfold atits own pace as I got caught up in living, just like everyone else.

“So you see, I haven’t had a dream for a long time!” I lamented to Ger.

“It’s not too late! No one can stop you from dreaming freely!” Ger gave me a naughty wink. “Only the dead won’t dream!”

I took his words to heart.

While watching the news about the space shuttle Colombia withmy three-year old daughter, she pointedat the astronauts and asked me who the aliens were and if dinosaurs would comeand eat them.

“They are astronauts,” I told her. They fly to the moon and other planets in thesky.” Her eyes sparkled with fascinationas she listened.

I took her to the window to look at the full moon. “When you are a big girl, you can fly to themoon and visit there with the astronauts!”

“Yay!” she cheered, lifting her hands. “I want to pick all the stars and bring themto my playhouse!”

“Mommy will help you to pick the stars too!” I cheered.

And the stars we gather together will be the dreams on whichto build your future, my little darling.

(Ms Chong’s daughter, Big R, grew up to be verydifferent after this incidence. She drew a blue fat rocket that didn’t seem tohave aerodynamic possibility in the art class in Standard One when the teachertold the class to follow exactly what she drew – a bumble bee with yellow andblack stripes. But then, that is anotherstory!)

All that English on Eating

2012-02-08T14:45:00.001+08:00

Several years ago, a readerin Kuching wrote to “Mind your English” in Section 2 expressing his shock aboutmy usage of “Don’t forget to eat your breakfast” in one of my stories. Itshould be “Don’t forget to have your breakfast,” he insisted. Then, two otherreaders wrote to back me up. One said,“It is perfectly good English, regardless of what the breakfast consists of –pills or otherwise.”

I had just come back fromThailand then, having been fed sumptuous food day and night. All that talkabout the word “eat” in English reminded me of several incidences where itsvarious usage within the context of other words (directly translated fromnative languages or pronounced wrongly in English), had caused humorousmisunderstandings.

Themost memorable incidence occurred the first time I visited Thailand. I wasstaying in a back-packer’s hotel where the rooms were actually small grass hutsby the beach. The proprietor was also the cook in his ‘restaurant’– his biggrass hut with several tables on the porch, serving as dining tables forguests.

Heasked me when I ordered my first dinner, “U eat ‘fit’? Have very big fit here, small fit also goodeat.’

Ithought he meant ‘feet’ as in chicken feet or pork legs. “Do you have chicken feet or pig feet?” I asked.

“Nohave chicken fit, pork fit like Malaisie.” The proprietor laughed,

“Here,only eat Thai fit.”

Baffled,I asked, “What kind of Thai feet do you have?”

“Bigfit, small fit, red fit, white fit, black fit, long fit, short fit, chilli fit,fly fit, chop fit.” He gave me the thumbs up. “My fit, very good! If you nolike eat, no pay.”

Shocked, I looked down. Hisplump feet were standing comfortably in his plastic slippers. He wriggled histoes and smashed some tiny sand crabs. The dirty toe-nails seemed to wink,“Come, eat me!”

A livid image of him soakinghis feet in some foods in a big wooden tub to spice it up came to my mind. “Dothe Thais use their feet to make some foods just like what people did in theold days to make grape wine?” I thought to myself.

By then, I had heard thatsome Thai delicacies were made from various parts of jungle animals andinsects. No wanting to take my chances, I ordered chicken instead.

WhenI ordered my last meal at the hotel, the proprietor insisted that I ‘eat fit’ before I left Thailand. “Here Thai fit very very good. All ‘farangs’(foreigners)like eat Thai ‘fit’.I cook chilli ‘fit’ you eat, half plice.”

Helooked really sincere. I relented, but not without a cautious note, “Only alittle bit to try. But I don’t want anything you cook with your feet,” Ipointed at his sandy feet. “Give me ananimal’s feet, OK?”

Thedish came out an hour later. It turned out that the ‘feet’ dish was a ‘fish’dish. The proprietor mispronounced the word (which I discovered in subsequentvisits, that it was a common problem among some Thais). But he told me how hegot the live fish from his tank – by sitting on a chair and grapping the fishwith his feet instead of his hands. And it had taken him half an hour to do itas the “fit go here go there’.

“WeThai serve ‘farangs’ good. Come again! Eat many fit!” He smiled as he lookedproudly at the fish.

Fromthen on, I smiled whenever I am asked to ‘eat fit’ in Thailand.

Iwas working in a Vietnamese refugee camps years ago. The refugees receiveddaily rations of food items – chicken/fish, rice and a vegetable. I thoughttheir meal would be very simple as there was not much one could do to cookcreatively with limited resources. Butthey were surprisingly resourceful. Theygrew spices and vegetables in broken plastic containers or in tiny areas aroundtheir living quarters. There was even a bread shop in the camp where fantasticFrench bread including my favorite croissants were sold. Several other shops sold homemade Vietnamesecakes and buns, stuffed with green bean paste. They made the foods in smallovens that they built from scrap metals.

Allthe proprietors got their capital by saving every cent they made from doing oddjobs for the camp authorities. Their viable home-based businesses wereimpressive.

Iused to visit the shops in my off-office hours as I was fascinated with theirresourcefulness and determination to do better. Of course, the best part of myvisit was when they said, “ ‘Kao-wei’ (officer), come eat my house.”

These‘house-eating’ visits consisted of anything they could find or gather from thecamps – insects, shoots, leaves, and barks. Most of all, I remember their sincere joyful expressions when I agreedto ‘eat their houses’!

Anotherinteresting incidence occurred when I was in an Asian airline. It was lunchtime, a young airhostess was pushing the food cart, smiling beautifully as sheasked us if we wanted to “eat cow, eat chicken or eat fish?”

TheWestern man right across me on the aisle said, “Eat anything!”

“Nocan. What you eat?” She smiledsweetly. The Westerner joked, “I’ll eatcow. But, I prefer to eat bull if youhave some in your cart.”

“No‘boo’ please, Sir. We serve the bestfood. Please say nice things, otherwise no lunch for you.” Offended, shereplied firmly.

Theman threw his hands in the air, “I give up and I’ll shut up. Just give me the cow to eat! Don’t give meher milk!”

A Food Guide

2012-02-08T11:50:00.000+08:00

I invited Claire, a Canadian friend, over fordinner. "Is there anything
you can't eat?" I asked.

Claire was happy that I asked. "I don't eat anything inside the body,
anything that hang from the body, anything above the neck, anything inside
the head or anything that flows!"

I laughed. "This is a long list. How do you come out with this food
guide?"

Claire who had lived in several countries told me why she developed this
food rule. " I am a farm girl, I like my meat and potato!

"My local hosts were very hospitable. They gave me the best foods within
their means or from their cultural perspectives. I couldn't eat some of the
foods because I wasn't used to them. But I couldn't offend my hosts with my
refusal. There were many memorable occasions where I had to gulp down
strange foods with all my might!
I now tell someone ahead of time what I can't eat to avoid embarrassing
moments."

Claire was in the Phillippines as an exchange student. Her host-family, who
loved pig intestines, served the delicacy almost every dinner. When she went
out to the shopping malls, her host-mother bought her bags of fried big and
small intestines as snacks. The vendors sold them just like they were
selling popcorn. "Not only this, they also mixed the heart, liver, kidney
into the meat adobo!"

After a year of Filipino hospitality, Claire developed instant goose pimples
whenever any one mentioned dishes with animal insides. When Claire went to
Mexico for her university internship, she told her host family that she was
born allergic to anything inside an animal.

Things were fine until her birthday. Her host mother and grandmother liked
Claire very much. They asked her what they could make for her birthday
dinner. Not wanting to refuse their daughterly treatment of her, she
suggested "tamali" (ground meat wrapped in corn husk).

"Great choice!" They told her.

Claire came back from work that day in a high spirit. The house smelt
fantastic with cooked meat in spices. She went inside the kitchen to see
how dinner was being cooked. Grandma was stirring a big pot with a big
smile. "Luckily, we ordered the head yesterday. The meat man ran out of
heads today!"

It was then that Claire learnt that tamali for special occasions was made
from the entire pig's head. Grandmother had been cooking the whole pig's
head for a day so that she could ground the cooked mixture for the tamali.
As the birthday girl, Claire had to eat several plate-full of tamali. The
thought of eating an entire pig's head was revoking. She went to the
bathroom and secretly vomited her dinner.

Claire was assigned to Peru for the second partof her internship. She told
her host family that she was allergic to anything inside an animal and
anything above the neck.
One New Year's Day, Claire was presented with a special dish. " Very
expensive and delicious. Only for you." Her host father honored her with a
plate full of brown meat.

"What is it?" She asked.

"We'll tell you after you finish!"

She ate the plate full. "Taste great!"

"It's the bull's penis!!" They were happy that Claire was happy.

Claire secretly vomited her New Year dinner that night.

Thinking that Claire liked special dishes, her host-mother cooked minced
pig's ears for the tortilla dinner the next day. Claire couldn't refuse the
tortilla and pig's ears that her host-mother piled on her plate.

When she went to Cambodia several years later, she told any local who
invited her for dinners that she was allergic to anything inside an animal,
anything above the neck and anything that hang on the body. Everything
went fine until her farewell dinner. Her local colleagues took her to a
restaurant and ordered "something special that she hadn't triedbefore".

By then, Claire had a few drinks and was happy to try something new.
Her dish arrived. It was a round brown mass, decorated nicely with greens.
She had a spoonful before she remembered to ask what it was. Her hosts
answered gleefully,

"Baked goat brain!"

Again, Claire had to finish her dinner to show her thankfulness to her
hosts.

Claire is now working in Thailand. She makes sure that her Thai friends
know that she is allergic to anything inside an animal, anything above the
neck, anything that hang on the body and anything inside the head. But
still, she has been served "red noodle soup" (made from pig's blood)many
times.

That's why Claire added the item "anything that flows" to the listshe gave
me.

I decided to ask her over for a Hakka dinner. My mother, the chef, made her
usual traditional dishes.

My mother piled food items on her bowl. "Could you tell me what theseare?"
Claire was excited about dishes with recepies from grandmothers.

"Don't worry. They are just meat and vegetables. This is very famous
"Hakka flying balls", this one is "sea cucumber withmushroom", very
good-one. These are just stir-fried vegetables. These stuffed vegetables
are our famous "yong tou fu". Only we Hakka got-one. This item with a

piece of meat in between two pieces of yam is "khioungiu". Also very

famous."

My mother added a big chunk - a piece of meat that comes with a layer of
thick skin, fat and bone- on top of the mound of food in the bowl.

She smiled happily into Claire's eyes, "This one-ah, our very famous Hakka
dish 'chu kiok chu" You eat and never forget-one!"

"Sounds great!! What is it?"

"Pig throttles in sour sauce!" I explained.

Claire smiled awkwardly at my mother, "Oh oh, it looks like my list is
getting longer!"

You Do It La, You Are So Free!

2012-01-31T09:57:00.000+08:00

Wah! I really really really hate it when people say to me "You do it la, you are so free!"

They don't understand that working at home is REAL WORK. They think I am shaking legs at my desk when the reality is that I work very hard you know. Just because I work from home in my pajamas doesn't make me FREE!!!

Do you work from home too? Do you get this kind of treatment too:

(1) your friends and relatives don't think you do real work because you work from home;

(2) your other half thinks you should do all the house admin because you are home all the time;

(3) you don't have free time for yourself because you have too many things to do;

(4) you keep getting distracted by friends who want to ask you out for afternoon tea in the middle of the day; and

(5) you find yourself working a lot because the computer is always nearby.

Siaaaaaaan right.

BUT I really enjoy working from home! So I don't really care what other people think. This is how I treat "evil people" who think I don't do much work:

(1) I ignore them as I am too sick of trying to explain what internet work is about;

(2) I slack off on the house admin stuff I can slack off on;

(3) I try to make small pockets of time for myself where I don't do work and just stare into space (haha no no I read magazines and surf hmmm but this is still related to work stuff);

(4) I ignore friends who keep bugging me I just have no time; and

(5) I try to make time for relaxation by watching mindless TV.

So there, my battle plan against "evil people". What is your battle plan??? Let me know!

I-Ping

Happy CNY

2012-01-31T09:29:00.000+08:00

Hello!

Happy Chinese New Year to those of you celebrating. Hope you are not too tired from the celebrations. Do you guys celebrate the full 15 days?

Well, I don't! These days, I find it tiring celebrating even on the second day. In fact, this is my first year ever in my 31 years of existence that I stayed at home on the second day. My parents usually go back to Malaysia to celebrate on second day so that leaves me free to do as I please.

I must say that it is really awesome to be able to not have to visit relatives on the second day. I got to chill out and spent the day with my husband instead.

Although I had a great time, I shall make sure I visit relatives on the second day of CNY next year as well. Certain traditions just need to be maintained isn't it!

Anyway, there was a DOUBLE RAINBOW a day before CNY eve! I take that as a sign of prosperity!!!

So I hereby wish all of you a fantastic 2012 and may all of us strive to succeed in whatever we are doing.

I-Ping

Can You See The Faint 2nd Rainbow???

My Recent Cooking Escapade

2012-01-08T11:43:00.002+08:00

December is a perfect opportunity for me to spend time in a little self-indulgence. It's the month with the least stress and not much running around doing errands and household chores. And since the kids are away at holiday camps during the recent December school holidays, I decided to go for a cooking escapade in Saigon Cooking Class in Vietnam. It was an unforgettably interesting experience and what I love about their cooking is the abundant use of fresh herbs and vegetables. Among the recipes that I learned there were fresh sweet and tangy salad and spring roll.
I never expected that water spinach would be used to make the salad. Although I have cooked and prepared water spinach in many ways, I discovered that all these years I have wasted the stem when it could easily be made into this wonderful Asian sweet and tangy salad. Such a waste! I also discovered that there is this simple, yet effective kitchen gadget to split the water spinach stem. I regret buying only one coz I'm sure that my sister would also agree that it is one of the best kitchen tools ever!

Water spinach stems

Using the splitter...never ever attempt to remove the round plastic top for the blades might cut your finger

Dunk the shredded stems into a bowl of iced water

Adding the sauce

The salad...hot and tangy

The next Vietnamese dish that I simply love is Goi Cuon (Vietnamese spring roll). Made of the thinnest rice paper I've ever seen, this dish is served cool to the touch with peanut sauce. The filling is made up of rice vermicelli, salad, herbs, prawns and spring onion. The dip is made of peanut butter, fish sauce, hoisin sauce, salt, chili powder and crushed roasted peanuts. It is delightfully simple yet tasty and I could eat this everyday.

Arrange the filling neatly on the translucent rice paper, then roll it

Ready to eat

Apart from the simplicity and healthiness of the above dishes, they are a great way to get kids to eat fresh vegetables!

New Year Resolutions

2011-12-28T12:46:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone! How was your Xmas? I had a wonderful one! I invited family over to my place on Xmas day and boxing day. It is so great to catch up with family. Everyone is usually too busy during the year to catch up properly. I suppose quality time spent with loved ones over the holiday season is always magical.

Now that Xmas is over, we have 2012 to look forward to. Have you made any resolutions? I have stopped making them for a long long time. But this year is different. I shall make some resolutions that I intend to keep:

(1) I shall successfully make a career transition now that I have decided to leave my previous job.

(2) I shall be motivated and focused in whatever I do.

(3) I shall never let myself down in whatever I do and always reach for the stars.

Me At New Year's Eve Countdown 2010 In Tokyo. Can You Spot Me?

These resolutions give me a reason to look forward to a brand new year. They also help me shape my vision for myself for the coming year. If you have a vision of the person you want to become, it is much easier for you to work towards becoming that person.

If there is something that you have always wanted to do, why not make a resolution now to do that something? Visualise yourself doing it in the coming 2012. And take baby steps to reach that goal in the coming year. I find that baby steps are more useful in reaching my goals than trying to do too much at the same time. Why not share your resolutions with everyone here in the comments section? We can motivate one another that way.

I wish you all the best in your endeavors in the coming year. Have a great one.

I-Ping

Pot Of Gold At The End Of Every Rainbow

2011-12-21T12:29:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone :)

Have you done your Christmas shopping yet? I haven't. Oops.

(This photo is taken by Hiking Artist and registered under a Creative Commons License)

Anyway, I have been MIA for a bit because I am cramming my head with a lot of learning. For those of you who don't know me, I really like to learn new things. Hah! It's like a hobby gone wrong (?) as I have this burning desire to learn all I can about things which interest me.

Things which interest me these days - personal development, website creation and writing. After so many years, I have finally found things which truly inspire me. It's yaye all the way!

However, there's always the truth to face at the end of the day - interests vs reality. If I can't find a way to make money from my interests, I will have to face reality and go back to work! Well, I am giving myself another 6 months to swim in my interests.

What about you? Do you face the same problem of having to balance your interests against reality? Don't you wish that you could just do what you love to do for a living? I am still searching for the answer. Every time I think I am so near to finding that elusive big answer, I stumble upon another conundrum which confuses me. I now truly believe that not everyone can actually do what they love for a living. But in cases like that, there is still a way to find pleasure in what you do even though what you do is not exactly what you love doing. There's always a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow:

(This photo is taken by Benjamin Rudstrom and registered under a Creative Commons License)

You can find pleasure in your work in the following ways:

(1) make good friends at work and make them your true friends (not just colleague-friend type);

(2) think of all the good things you could do for the people you love with the money you make (for example make holiday plans and book your holidays in advance so that you can have something exciting to look forward to with your loved ones);

(3) spot all the good qualities there are in your bosses which make them so good at what they do at work (if you can't find, try a bit harder) and aspire to be like them;

(4) plan your office activities and make them as fun as possible (for example organise a fun office run so that you can exercise and bond with your colleagues); and

(5) start work a bit earlier than everyone else in your office (drink all the free coffee in your office to keep awake and think of all the money you have saved from having to buy Starbucks coffee) so that you can finish up your work earlier and do a bit of your personal admin online before you head home (then you can have your night to yourself and not have to worry about work and personal admin).

Ok, that's 5 ideas for now! Savour them please and let me know what you think and whether you have any other ideas to add to the list.

Have a wonderful time doing your Christmas shopping...

I-Ping (was once writing under pen name "The Modern Homemakers" but now prefers to be known by her real name to avoid identity crisis; not to be associated with IMac/IPad/IPhone/IPod/ITunes and all other products loving the "I")

Benefits Of Taking A Break From Work

2011-11-24T17:58:00.000+08:00

In my earlier post, I recommended taking a break from work.

Here are its benefits:

1. clears your mind and allows you to find your purpose in life;

2. you become more aware of why you do certain things in life and you find meaning in doing them;

3. you learn to eliminate certain things you have been doing in life, which do not serve much useful purpose for you and your family;

4. you have the time to do all the things you have always wanted to do but never had the time to do; and

5. you get to spend more time with your family!

Yaye,

The Modern Homemaker

Taking A Break From Work

2011-11-19T13:45:00.011+08:00

I recommend taking a break from work. "Sabbatical" as some call it.

But I don't recommend taking a break from work if you don't have a fallback plan and you are usually an organised and systematic person.

If you are usually orgnanised and systematic and you are suddenly left with no routine to keep you occupied, you may feel very unsettled and unhappy.

Thus before you make that decision to take a break from work, perhaps look around for a fallback plan first. It need not be in the form of work. It can just be a routine. Perhaps volunteer work a few times a week. Or indulge in a hobby on a regular basis.

Sometimes keeping yourself occupied can be harder than it seems.

Yours truly,

The Modern Homemaker

(The Modern Homemakers blog)

Are We Greedy and Guilty Malaysians?

2011-10-27T20:39:00.007+08:00

A study has found that Malaysians are throwing away up to 930 tonnes of unconsumed food daily. Ironically, we Malaysians love food so why waste the one thing that we are known to love most? The regular flurry of news reports on food shortages and the global food crisis have failed to alert us on the importance of being thrifty and humble to contribute towards sustaining global food supplies.
The multi-racial of Malaysian food is simply glorious. We are blessed with such diverse food options that spice up our daily food consumption. Perhaps such diversity has led to our insatiable appetite for food at one sitting which eventually leads to a huge costly waste. At any time of the day, any type of food is easily available. We now have more restaurants that serve fusion food, making us more impulsively greedy in making our selections. Go to any of these restaurants and you might have a hard time making up your mind on whether to have a plate of Chinese fried rice or Sizzling Lamb Chop because the striking pictures in the menu send you drooling over them right away. Eventually, you ordered both items. The reality is you can't clean your plate even before the dessert arrives. Such a waste.
Simplicity and balance are what missing in our meals. A balanced diet for a normal Malay family may consist of a plate of rice, a vegetable dish and a main dish (chicken curry, chili beef etc). Sometimes, when the main dish is dry, soup is served. Dessert is optional. Perhaps a bowl of porridge for lunch with some condiments? A plain sandwich would also suffice for any meal of the day. Why not? Such items are healthy, simple and economical, reducing the amount of leftover which might end up in the garbage bin.
We definitely do not want to pay the price for our own greed and selfishness. It's time we find ways to reduce food waste in our landfills and become a more conscious food consumers. Malaysia boleh or tak boleh?

MYNN

Bored Singaporean Homemaker Starts Talking To Herself

2011-10-19T13:59:00.003+08:00

Hello, this is The Modern Homemaker again.

Ordinary Woman In An Extraordinary Situation

I hope you now know a bit more about me after having read my first blog entry here. I am a rather ordinary woman who now find myself in a rather extraordinary situation. Haha, what do I mean by that?

I drew this on my chalkboard at home. It is from a Yoshitomo Nara painting.

Previously, when I was working, life was all about work, work and work. However, since I stopped work to follow my husband to Beijing, life is now all about household chores and projects I love. Why do I then say I am in an extraordinary situation? Well, this is because I suddenly find myself in the privileged situation of having lots of free time to do all the things I have always wanted to do. I should be happy right? Yes I am now. But I wasn't doing so well initially...

The Nightmares

I started having nightmares every single night (almost) for nearly 3 months since I stopped work. I would often dream of ghost(s)/monster(s)/murderer(s) chasing me and would often wake up in a cold sweat. According to my husband, I would also talk gibberish and scream in my sleep and would swing my limbs all over the place. He claimed I had hit him many times in my sleep. But he couldn't procure any form of evidence so I didn't believe him. He had then threatened to film me whilst I was sleeping. A bit like what the pesky boyfriend did in the movie "Paranormal Activity" when the evil spirits harassed his girlfriend. My husband postulated that the service apartment that we had stayed in in Beijing was haunted and was the cause of my nightmares. What rubbish. I had never encountered anything spooky in the service apartment apart from my obsessions with household chores.

My Famous Grandmother And Mother From Muar

Yes, I was very obsessed with household chores. I wanted to become super homemakers like my grandmother and mother. When my grandmother was alive, she was famous in Muar (her hometown) for her "otak-otak" and other local yummy kuehs like "ang ku kueh". My mother is also often praised for her famous curry chicken and "ngor hiang". Oooo, I am starting to salivate just thinking about yummy food. So you see, I wanted to become super homemakers like them because I wanted to be praised as well for my yummy food. I was also hoping that I could become a famous chef like Chef Wan! Haha, that was me during the period of March 2011 to June 2011.

My sundried tomatoes, basil, cheese and olive scones

My yoghurt blueberry muffins

My sugar cranberry muffins

Please don't start thinking that I really enjoyed doing household chores and wanted to stay a homemaker for the rest of my life. Although I had secret ambitions to become a super homemaker and a famous chef during the period of March 2011 to June 2011, I had actually hated doing household chores and found it boring. However, I convinced myself that if I was going to be a homemaker, I was going to become the best homemaker ever!

However, the boredom started to wear me down and suffocated me so much that I slowly started to lose grip on my ambitions to become a super homemaker and a famous chef. Sometimes, I would talk to myself at home when I got bored and missed human interaction. I would say out loud things like "oh, I should do the laundry now" or "shouldn't I be prepping the food now for cooking later". Seriously, I felt like this was it. My life. Nothing more. Nothing less. Not unhappy. Not happy. This was it. I felt that I was slowly drowning in my sea of misery.

Putting An End To The Suffocating Boredom Between June 2011 To Mid-August 2011

At the beginning of June 2011, I finally had enough of the suffocating boredom and my life as a bored homemaker. I decided to engage in other projects other than just household chores:

(1) June 2011 to mid August 2011 - I helped out as a librarian at a non-governmental organisation in Beijing twice a week; and

(2) June 2011 to mid August 2011 - attempting (/pretending) to study my online self-guided art course with The Museum of Modern Art. I was so unmotivated about it that my husband had to lock me up in the study so that I could concentrate on my course!

No use - I was still wrapped up in boredom and I couldn't breathe. I started to consider going back to work.

Self-diagnosis Of The “Intelligent Housewife Syndrome” in Mid-August 2011

In the middle of August 2011, I came across this amazing article in the Canadian Medical Association Journal called "The Intelligent Housewife Syndrome" written by M. Lattey, M.D. M. Lattey, M.D.'s learned opinion was that “The Intelligent Housewife Syndrome” could affect a housewife who has the following qualities:

(1) she is of above average intelligence and ability;

(2) she had performed well at school; and

(3) she did interesting work prior to getting married and she did it not just to pass time but actually enjoyed it and derived satisfaction from it.

Hmmmm. I am of above average intellect on most days. I did reasonably well in school and was taught to be the best that I could be and to think out of the box. I derived a lot of satisfaction from my previous job as a lawyer and strangely I did enjoy it (but I could only say it now with hindsight).

"Unfortunately for her, this woman has a good brain, and an education; and the demands of caring for a home, and small children, may satisfy her reproductive instincts but fail to satisfy the requirements of her intellectual abilities. She becomes frustrated and bored, and eventually presents the symptoms which I wish to describe.”

"It is no use trying to make these women accept the role of being “only a housewife”; they have already attempted this and found it wanting. They find housework, and the sole company of small children, lonely and boring."

"It also does not help them to palliate their problem with “busy” work or hobbies, unless the hobby is so absorbing that it becomes an occupation in itself. These women need work to challenge their abilities. They need to know that they are doing something worth while, and that they are using the brain which they developed when they were younger.”

“In addition to this, the patient has been out of touch with her work for some time. She may need encouragement to overcome her lack of confidence in her rusty abilities, so that some retraining may be needed.”

“I believe that such frustrations can be potent sources of emotional illness. Unless we recognize this development in our patients, some of the best women in our society will fail to develop to the full, and will become casualties to outmoded ideas.”

Above as quoted from "The Intelligent Housewife Syndrome", The Canadian Medical Association Journal (September 26, 1964, vol. 91), M. Lattey, M.D.

Symptoms Of "The Intelligent Housewife Syndrome"

It is specified in the article that an "intelligent housewife" may display various symptoms such as the following (although symptoms may vary from "intelligent housewife" to "intelligent housewife"):

(i) headaches;

(ii) anxiety attacks;

(iii) nervousness;

(iv) digestive upsets;

(v) depression with weeping spells;

(vi) complain they are bored and that life is passing them by while they are doing nothing worthwhile with it; and

(vii) feelings of guilt because they think should be satisfied with their happy families instead of feeling unhappy.

Well, I was displaying symptoms (i) to (iv) above but it could very well be due to the fact that my body was trying to adapt to a new country. No, I was not showing symptom (v) but I seldom cry. No, I was not feeling guilty as per (vii) above. But I was definitely complaining and complaining non-stop as per (vi) above. I managed to somehow convince myself that I was suffering from “The Intelligent Housewife Syndrome” based on such observations. I was also convinced that having daily nightmares was also one of the atypical symptoms of “The Intelligent Housewife Syndrome”. I was thus self-diagnosed in mid-August 2011 as suffering from “The Intelligent Housewife Syndrome”.

Cure for “The Intelligent Housewife Syndrome”

I felt that I had to find a cure quickly. I needed more intellectual stimulations quickly. So this was what I did:

(1) August 2011 and continuing - researching ideas for blogs/sites/businesses;

(2) September 2011 and continuing - learning all the techie stuff about setting up a blog and setting up my first blog "The Modern Homemakers" and then my second blog "The Modern Homemakers @ NaNoWriMo 2011" (you can see both blogs by clicking on their names under my name in my sign-off below);

(3) September 2011 and continuing - I intend to devote my time to studying methods of advertising through social media and bringing traffic to my blogs and I also intend to read all the self-help, motivational and business e-books that I have downloaded;

(4) September 2011 to October 2011 - researching and coming up with a business plan (this is going to be tough) for Project Secret (ssssshhhh, don't tell anyone, this is a secret); and

(5) October 2011 and continuing - executing my business plan for Project Secret (if approved) or if not approved to continue to fine tweak it and brainstorm for other ideas.

Symptoms of “The Intelligent Housewife Syndrome” have subsided

I don't really feel the effects of "The Intelligent Housewife Syndrome" these days although I still have self-doubts about my life sometimes. But I am not worried. I know I will recover eventually. I know that if I continue to engage myself intellectually by reading and learning, I will get better. I hope that if you ever find yourself to be in the same situation as me, you will not despair. You just need to constantly apply yourself intellectually by reading and learning new things. After you have read and learnt these new things, please don't forget to apply your knowledge in what you are doing in your life. Knowledge is king and when you have so much knowledge you can apply, you will soon feel like a King (ok ok Queen if you are a lady) too.

Let's keep learning, thinking and creating and be happy Modern Homemakers!

Thank You Very Much

I have now come to the end of my case study on myself with regards to "The Intelligent Housewife Syndrome".

Thank you very much for listening to me. I appreciate it very much. The next time we speak, hopefully I will have recovered.

Yours truly,

The Modern Homemaker
(The Modern Homemakers blog)
(The Modern Homemakers @ NaNoWriMo 2011 blog)

Hello Everyone!

2011-10-19T13:00:00.005+08:00

Hello everyone, I am so excited to be given the chance to talk to you and be your friend on eHomemakers.

Who am I?

My name is I-Ping and I am a 31 years old Singaporean lady. These days, I divide my time between Beijing and Singapore due to my husband’s work. Each is home to me. I love Beijing for its history, culture, optimism, space and vibrancy. I love Singapore because I grew up here and my family and friends are here.

Chef preparing the famous Peiking duck at Dadong

restaurant in Beijing, famous for its Peiking duck.

The famous Peiking duck with thin crispy skin.

The condiments for the Peiking duck served in a nice

minimalist plate.

Sculpture at the famous 798 Art District, Beijing

Scribblings left on The Great Wall of China by visitors.

Bride and groom posing on The Great Wall of China.

They have Durian cheesecake in Beijing!

Muar, My Mother's Hometown

I suppose you could call Malaysia my home too as my mother's family is from Malaysia. My mother's hometown is Muar, famous for (amongst other things) its yummy good food such as “otak-otak”, “or-luak”/”or-chien”, Hainanese chicken rice balls, char kway teow, Hokkien char hae mee, Bak Kut Teh and so much more! I could talk about it all day long. I found my calling to chatter at 31 and I do that a lot these days on The Modern Homemakers blog. The Modern Homemakers is about empowerment of Modern Homemakers through continuing education and online education. I also chatter on The Modern Homemakers NaNoWriMo 2011 blog - I am taking part in a novel writing challenge where I have to churn out a 50,000 word novel in 1 month's time starting on 1 November 2011. I write my novel on this blog and also share here writing tools and tips I find useful.

My Simple Truth

I love to tell people my age. I am not shy about it although I detest looking older. Being older means being more experienced. Being older means having more stories to tell. Being older means having less hang-ups. Not like those youthful days of angst when I was rocking out to Beyond Cantonese pop songs or trying to dress and act like the aloof Faye Wong.

These days, I like to call myself a Modern Homemaker/wife/aspiring blogger/aspiring e-entrepreneur/part-time online art student. Aspiring blogger because I have only just started and barely scratched the surface of blogging. I hope to be good at it one day. Aspiring e-entrepreneur because I am sold on the idea of making money from the cyber world but I have not made any money. Part-time online art student because I only study art on a part-time basis through online courses with the University of Oxford.

I used to be a corporate lawyer but I have left the corporate world for about six months now. I don't work for a living now. But I hope to eventually. That's because I think it is important to be financially independent as a Modern Homemaker. I think it would help improve my self-esteem.

Most people call me a "full-time housewife" or "lady of leisure". That's because they don't understand what it's like to be a Modern Homemaker. The reality is that a good majority of Modern Homemakers does not just do homemaking. They do other things as well. A lot of Modern Homemakers work. Others study. Some freelance. Others volunteer. Some are husbands and wives. Others are sons, daughters, brothers and sisters. Some are sons-in-law and daughters-in-law. Others are…the list goes on. The roles are all different and call for different skills and qualities, which is why I get sad about generic names and classifications. I used to be a name-caller too but now I think I see the big picture.

My Human Traits

I am serious when it comes to work and my projects including my blogging. I put in the hours and hard work because I take pride in what I do and I don't like to let people down. I am proud and ambitious that way. When I am not working, I am more relaxed and fun.

My Interests

I love many things: art and artists, art & craft, art galleries, which don’t make me feel unwelcome or silly, baking because I like the aroma, blogging, writing and talking to you, books for their information and paper smell, bread, breakfast, brunch, cafes with good coffee and sincere people, coffee for its aroma and caffeine, design and innovation, education and learning because it makes me feel empowered, flea markets, ideas and brainstorming, London for its vibes, looking at other people’s bookshelves, magazines, old secondhand bookstores, paper, people watching, restaurants with good food but where I can dress like a slob, soundtracks even those of movies I haven't watched, swimming although I can only do breaststroke, technology and gadgets, vintage stuff and more.

I love coffee. Another empty cup! Another cup please!

My favourite cafe, F.O.B. cafe at Laforet, Harajuku in

Tokyo

Yummy pancakes at F.O.B. cafe. Yummmmmsss.

What I Hope To Achieve With The Modern Homemakers

I feel that it is very important for people to continuously learn and develop themselves. I am convinced that knowledge is king and that we human beings can feel empowered through knowledge and change our lives for the better as we become more knowledgeable. Thus, we must not forget education even after we leave schools. We must subscribe to the notion that education is continuing and we must develop ourselves in such a way that we love learning and become good at it. I try to live by this philosophy now and hope to do so forever!

Ok, I have rambled long enough about me and The Modern Homemakers blogs. Now that you know my simple truth, it's your turn to share yours. :)

Yours truly,

The Modern Homemaker

(The Modern Homemakers blog)

(The Modern Homemakers @ NaNoWriMo 2011 blog)

2011-10-07T16:43:00.001+08:00

This was totally accidental. I had a few friends over and had to make a dessert (never been happier seeing guests plunge their fork into it till the very last bit). My initial plan was to make a cream cheese-based dessert but sadly, there was no cheese left in the chiller. So with cream, leftover cakes and fruits, I had to whip up something. I grabbed my trifle bowl and began making what I had in mind...layers and layers of creamy fruitty cool dessert.

What you need:
1. Any leftover cakes or sponge cakes. I used chocolate swiss rolls. Slice them.
2. Fresh strawberries
3. Chocolate cream :
1 egg yolk, 40g caster sugar, 100g cooking chocolate/bittersweet finely chopped, 50ml water, 1 1/2 tsp gelatin powder, 250g whip cream (I normally used Rich brand)
- Sprinkle gelatin over water.
- Whisk 1 egg yolk + 40g caster sugar until pale and creamy. Double boil and keep whisking.
- Add chocolate and gelatin mixture to the bowl and stir until all is melted. Let cool a bit.
- Whip cream until slightly firm. Fold chocolate mixture into it. Set aside.
4. Strawberry cream
250g strawberry, 60 g caster sugar, 2tbsp orange juice, 2tsp powdered gelatin, 300g whip cream
- Mash strawberries with sugar. Add orange juice to it. Put in a pot.
- Sprinkle gelatin over it. Heat pot. Stir until mixture thickens a bit. Let cool for a while.
- Whip cream to medium peak. Fold strawberry mixture into it. Set aside.

Assembling the dessert,
Layer 1 - cake + fresh strawberries
Layer 2 - Chocolate cream
Layer 3 - Cake
Layer 4 - Strawberry cream
Layer 5 - Cake
Layer 6 - Strawberry cream
Topping - fresh strawberries and grated chocolate

All done!

The Colours of Merdeka Raya

2011-09-13T01:21:00.002+08:00

Salam Merdeka Raya to all readers! May this joyous season bring us the best of everything a festival could offer, especially the food. It is my family's tradition to have a special thematic cake on the table each year. That cake would sit in the middle of the table, untouched and uncut until the third or fourth Raya. I could sometimes see kids drooling over the cake and left our house pretty disappointed for not being served any of it. We had cakes like a log, a house, a book and other shapes and sizes, all made using pound cake recipe. Trying my very best to preserve such tradition, I too would make one special cake that sits on the dining table each Raya. I used the simplest yet the best butter cake recipe for my mosque cake this year. Thanks to Peggy Porschen. You will love it too.

Ingredients:
400g butter
400g caster sugar
8 eggs (lightly beaten)
400g self-raising flour
1 teaspoon vanilla essence or butter vanilla

Method:
Preheat oven to 170C. Beat butter and sugar using s flat beater until fluffy. Add vanilla then slowly pour beaten egg in portion and continue beating at medium speed. Scrape the bottom of the bowl to ensure the mixture is beaten evenly. Using a spatula, fold in flour until well mixed. Pour mixture into a 9" square or round tin. Bake for about 40 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. Cool before frosting. If you're covering the cake with fondant, chill it first till firm.

Happy baking and Salam Merdeka Raya!

MYNN

SALAM RAMADHAN

2011-08-02T01:37:00.001+08:00

Salam Ramadhan and Happy Fasting to all my Muslim readers. May this month full of barakah and blessings brings joy to everyone regardless of race and faith. In this holy month, Muslims all over the world fulfil the third pillar of Islam by fasting, which is a challenging means to learning self-restraint and self-control particularly the desire to drink or eat during daytime. The healing power of fasting is tremendous. It purifies, cleanse and detox the body system.

Personally, I would take this chance to rejuvenate my mind and body. However, I find the temptation is far greater than my own diet self-control when it comes to visiting Ramadhan bazars in the evening where the food stalls would normally take up almost all area. Looking at the variety and array of food makes me wonder how possible can our body sustain the process of cleansing from that one particular day if any of those food gets to the system. Worse still, many end up buying more than what is needed. Walking our way through the lines of stalls with wafts of sweet-and-spicy-smelling grilled chicken and 'ayam percik' in the air, how can one possibly restrain him/herself from not succumbing to temptation, especially when you're walking in an empty stomach? What about the Ramadhan buffets promotion at hotels and restaurants, of which pictures of mouth-watering food served there appear in magazines and newspapers weeks before Ramadhan that would certainly leave us drooling? Simply irresistable to many, I guess (me included sometimes). However, that momentary satisfaction of gorging and gobbling up on food you desire during iftar (breaking fast) might put your whole day's effort to a waste. My advise: Have a healthy iftar by drinking plenty of plain water and eat moderate amount of food. Happy fasting!

Mazmin

Sweet and Sour fish

2011-07-20T19:53:00.000+08:00

An all time favourite dish prepared in a breeze....sweet and sour fish, and for today, it's grouper from the market - fresh, shiny and metallic. I would have preferred Asian sea bass because of its chunkier and firmer flesh but it was out of season. Sweet and sour fish is served at almost any Thai or Chinese restaurant in the East Coast region. It is a dish not too hot and not too fancy for anyone's palate. Whether it's Thai, Chinese or Western sweet and sour dish, the ingredients are almost the same. The good thing about this dish is that you can prepare the sauce way ahead, and reheat it when it's time to pour it over the fish, just in time for lunch or dinner. Simple, yet delicious.

For 1 big fish:

For the sauce, preheat 3 tbsp of oil in a pan. Then add 3 crushed garlic and 2 shallots finely chopped. In a processor, blend a cup of water, 1/3 cup vinegar, 2 medium sized tomatoes, 1 tbsp cornflour and a slice of pineapple ( about 200g). Add this into into the pan. Then add half cup tomato ketchup, 1/3 cup oyster sauce, 1/2 cup plum sauce and 1 tbsp chicken stock. Stir and let simmer. Add to the simmering sauce, a cup of finely chopped pineapples, 1/2 cup mix vegetables, 1/2 cup canned button mushroom (sliced or cut into 2), 2 red chillies chopped and a finely sliced capsicum. Then sprinkle into the mixture, a teaspoon of white pepper, a teaspoon of salt (or slightly more) and 1/3 cup sugar.

In the meantime, deep fry 2 large Holland onions cut into rings, and add into sauce. Coat fish with a mixture of turmeric powder, salt and corn flour. Get 1 tbsp of chopped Chinese celery and 1 tbsp of chopped spring onion ready. Coat the fish in flour (1/2 cup plain flour and 1/2 cup corn flour). Then dip it in 2 beaten eggs. Then again, coat with flour. Heat oil in pan enough to deep fry the fish. Toss it and put onto plate. Pour sauce, sprinkle with chopped leaves. Serve hot with white rice. Simply awesome.

Homemade Ceaser Salad!!!

2011-06-26T17:50:00.004+08:00

Well, here I am at home, my Dad is watching a DVD but I'm bored and..........hungry......

So, I thought, what snack can I fix myself that's both healthy and filling? Well, I have some romaine lettuce : Bingo! Homemade Ceaser Salad!

The Dressing : 2 cloves garlic, chopped fine, mixed with light mayo and mustard. Set aside and allow flavors to develop.

Then I chopped the romaine lettuce to bite sized pieces, you can also tear the leaves in 2s or 3s. Since there is half a cucumber waiting to be used in the fridge, I chopped them and added them to the lettuce.

The Croutons : Cut a slice of day old bread into cubes; sprinkle with olive oil, you may also sprinkle some dried herbs like rosemary and thyme like I did, bake in a toaster oven for 30 minutes or so till crispy. The croutons have to golden brown to be done.

When croutons are done, put over salad, sprinkle some real or vegan bacon bits, pour the dressing over and toss! Walla! Homemade Ceaser Salad!!! Bon Appetit!!!

A child in need

2011-06-25T22:40:00.001+08:00

A favour that was offered to a friend turned out to be a heart-wrenching experience for me. It really made me think and ponder about life and humanity.

The 45-minute journey took me to a shanty wooden house, with missing wooden planks on its wall. A fairly good wind could blow down such dilapidated structure any minute. After introducing myself, I asked permission to snap some photos for the record. The interior of the house proved how deprived the family’s life has been. I stepped into the kitchen, hoping to find a fridge to store the milk supply I brought. I was relieved to spot a small fridge, with a surface rust, standing in the corner of the kitchen.

It was a 2-room house – the kitchen and the bedroom (cum living room). The back of the house doubled as En. Emran’s workshop. Being the sole breadwinner of the family, it was pretty difficult for him to make ends meet. So, apart from repairing vehicles that could not provide a stable income,the 33-year old father of three had to do odd jobs in the village to earn at least RM800 a month. His 26-year old wife was a home maker.

I finally met Zikri, a vulnerable-looking 4-year old boy. Such timid soul had been staring at me ever since I first stepped into the house, perhaps wondering the purpose of my visit. He had this big, sad and bewildered looking eyes that could not conceal the pain and suffering he had to endure. When I called his name, he immediately approached me with open arms. While he was in my arms, I quickly poked a straw into a Yakult bottle and placed it is his hand. As he was drinking the milk, those wide round eyes looked straight into mine as if to say “thank you”. I held him close and could feel his bloated and firm stomach against my hand.

Zikri was born without an anus. The second day after was born, the doctor did a surgery on him to place a colostomy bag which he had to depend on for the next 12 months. The doctor then did another surgery to provide Zikri with a rectal opening. He, however, had no control over the release of his faeces which explains why he had to be in disposable diapers at all times. His condition worsened after he swallowed a metal nut when he was barely a few months old. Because of that, his stool had to be pumped out 3 times a day. Drinking Yakult helped to soften the stool, thus reducing the pain when the stool is being pumped out. I can’t imagine what future lies ahead for this poor, sickly soul. How is it possible for him to be academically successful and socially healthy if his condition does not improve. He could have a much better future only if the family can afford to send him for surgery and medication. It struck me that while we are working our way to become a prosperous developed nation, there are still those out there who do not even have a decent living condition. If we can’t help all at once, at least help one at a time. And this one true case of suffering deserves help and support from our caring Malaysians.

Learning to Live Within My Means

2011-06-25T15:50:00.003+08:00

It's a hot day! Again, I find myself longing to go to the nearby cafe, Coconut Groove to try their huge and icy Coconut Shake. I've never tried it before and it looks good on the menu. But it'll probably be a bad idea because 1) it's not exactly cheap 2) it comes in this huge jug which frankly to me looks like it could be shared with a family! Not a good idea for a dialysis patient like me; who need to control her fluid intake.

Also, as always, I have cravings for a McDonald's Double Cheeseburger, which again is not a good idea because of the cost, the amount of fat I'll be ingesting, not to mention sending my protein and phosphate levels rocketing sky high! Just think : 2 slices of cheese, 2 fatty beef patties, bad idea, not to mention the sodium. And don't even get me started on 'saving' money by ordering the McValue Meal, which adds more fat and sodium in the form of fries, not to mention the sugar-laden soda (soft drink) that comes with it.

But still I'm longing for something cool to drink as it's a hot day. So, what did I do? I went to the fridge and poured myself a small cup of ice-cold water! Ahhhhhhh! Bliss! So, you can save money if you really want to. Anyway, the sun out there is just frightfully hot, I don't even fancy walking out of this air-conditioned room where my computer is to get my burger or coconut shake.

If I'm hungry, my Mom's noodles will do. She cooked a huge batch to last us from lunch to dinner. I'll be saving money by not eating out. Inflation in Malaysia has driven the prices of everything up and up!; including cafe prices.

So, if you're hungering for some store bought food, ask yourself : is there anything in your fridge or pantry that is just as good, if not better and healthier? Then eat in, not out! Saves you money and you get to cool off in the comfort of your own home.

Just imagine popping your own popcorn with those cheap raw corn kernels. No butter or sugar, takes some getting used to but I think plain olive-oil popped corn is delicious! Then eating that pre-portioned bowl of popcorn and watching a movie on your DVD player in your air-conditioned hall! Now, that can't be beat! So, stay home when you can in your free time and be creative!

Ehomemakers Community Cooking Class

2011-06-18T23:54:00.002+08:00

The class we had today was pretty fun. The moment one student realized that she had to peel the onion skin and clean the fish, she looked startled. Apparently, she had never cleaned a fish before and not planning to do so. She never cooked a meal but because she's getting married in a few months time, she felt like it's time to learn some kitchen skills. Realizing that look on her face, I quickly reassured her we'll be able to do it in a breeze. With a little frown on her face, she made her way towards the kitchen table.
The other student had a new resolution to fulfill - preparing home-cooked meals, at least once a day - because she finally realized that eating out is such a costly and unhealthy. So now she plans to have healthy, frugal cooking and living. I hope she will.
We cooked 3 dishes - ikan asam pedas, ayam masak merah, Chinese mustard in oyster sauce. The desserts - fluffy pudding in custard sauce and 4 types of muffins. The results? What seemed impossible to them turned out to be tasty and scrumptious dishes for a beginner.

Frying the ingredients till fragrant.

Working together to cook the final dish.

Baking colourful muffins.

Clockwise : A happy student with her masterpieces: pudding in a glass, muffins, Chinese mustard in oyster sauce, Asam pedas in 'belanga' (claypot) and Spicy chilli chicken.

Meeting Myself Halfway

2011-06-07T13:50:00.005+08:00

Loosing weight is an uphill battle even if you're not on steroids, but even more of an uphill battle with steroids. I was prescribe steroids by my nephrologist (kidney doctor) when my SLE was active. At that time, my weight ballooned up to 68kgs! Imagine being that heavy at 4 feet 11, I was overweight, bordering on obese!

No matter what I did at that time, the extra weight just refused to budge! To make matters worse, I had a tummy to rival that of a pregnant woman! And I was teased by heartless people for my tummy problem! To make matters worse, the steroids also increased my appetite. Now, I have a pretty good appetite even without the steroids but with the steroids, I was hungry all the time! And I had to eat a lot to fill my rumbling tummy! So, that made it even harder to slim down.

Then came the magical day when my doctor announced that steroid are not meant to be taken long term and that I'd be taken off the steroids from that day onwards. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! I don't have to take them anymore! And within a few short months, my extra weight just melted off and I've been maintaining at 56kgs ever since.

Of course, I'm a work in progress and I'm still striving to lower my fat levels to improve my body composition. In other words, I still have a little bit of a tummy problem that I'm striving to get rid off. But who knows, maybe if I listen to my body, I'm at a healthy compromise right now, but well see, I'll keep eating healthy and exercise and I'll see where that takes me.

I'm a member of Sparkpeople (www.sparkpeople.com), a website that teaches you how to be as healthy as you can be through proper diet and exercise; and they teach that you should never go through life hungry. If you're really hungry, you should eat enough, don't overeat.

After all, how fun can it be if you're hungry all the time and have a twiggy figure. It's better to be healthy and reasonably satiated. In other words, eat enough, not too little, not too much. And it's better to be healthy, slim and fit than to be skinny but hungry all the time.

And to celebrate my new weight, I've purchase some designer skinny jeans that were 50% off! And I'm loving the way I look in it! But like I said earlier, I'm still a work in progress!

HOMEMADE CHICKEN CHOP

2011-06-01T22:23:00.007+08:00

The price of food has increased drastically over the past few years. The recent hike in petrol price has mad me revise our family routine and budget on eating out. Should we frequent restaurants and cafes on weekends like we normally do? We dine out for the kind of food that we rarely cook at home - Western, Japanese, fast food, French etc. These food seem more appetizing when served in a fancy restaurants with colourful accompaniments. However, after a month of weekend dinners and and putting that extra effort on preparing homemade fancy and Western dishes, I noticed a striking difference in our monthly budget. I saved a few hundreds.

One dish that I find works perfectly well with my kids who are ever willing to eat anything chicken everyday is crispy chicken chop. This can be much healthier than fast food or restaurant fried chicken when using organic chicken (I can afford to use healthy ingredients now because I have already cut down on my monthly cost for dining out!).

Let's fry them deep....

5 pieces of chicken chop pieces (the ones with the leg) or chicken breasts (a bit too fleshy for me), washed, dry (using kitchen towel) and marinate with the following mixture:

1 tsp salt 1/2 tsp paprika (or chili powder) 1 tsp sugar 1 tsp white pepper

Marinate the chicken pieces an hour before frying, or, u can do this way beforehand and freeze them. The best way is to pack them in ziplock bags. Otherwise, pack each piece in a plastic bag and seal it (I use impulse sealer).

To deep-fry them:

About 2 cups of breadcrumb (white...I use Biffy breadcrumb)

4 beaten eggs + 1/4 cup water

2 cups of flour (all purpose flour)

Heat enough oil to deep fry the chicken pieces. Coat each piece with flour. Dip it in the beaten eggs. Then quickly coat it with the breadcrumb. Deep fry. The chicken pieces will stay afloat when thoroughly cooked.

For the sauce, I use Knorr demi-glaze brown sauce. Prepare the sauce as directed. I blend half can of button mushroom and add to the sauce mixture. Then slice the rest of the mushroom, add to the sauce as well. Stir until smooth and thick.

Or, for a hot zesty taste, serve with ready made black pepper sauce (bottled ones - Life, Maggi or imported ones...I would just grab any brand available on the shelf), otherwise, you can make your own. And of course, you might need the chili sauce to go with it (the Malaysian way).

HEALTHY HOMEMADE BREAD - Sweet bun

2011-05-19T21:42:00.008+08:00

I used to fail in making bread of any kind. The dozens of recipes I've tried yielded no results and at one point, I lost interest altogether. Seeing my mom kneading the dough and sweating all over only confirmed that bread making was a tedious and laborious effort. Besides, why fret when bakeries can be found almost anywhere, meaning buns or artisan breads were only a drive away. So I gave up bread-making and stick to store-bought bread. The mixer I had was only meant for cakes and cookies. And the dough hook sat in my kitchen drawer, spotless and untouched.

Something hit me one day. The smell of that wonderful aroma of bread permeated my entire kitchen, not once..but often. My neighour was baking bread...and I, being her sweet and loving neighbour surely got my share. Buns of different shapes and fillings, soft white sandwich loaves, and my favourite, the 'paung bakar', the local buns, baked traditionally using woodfire and coconut fibre. Her secret: she went for classes. Bread baking classes. And she started selling home-made bread ever since. Now why didn't I think of that.

So there I was on that very night, googling for classes venues and schedules. I went for my first lesson...pretty intimidated by others at first. The next year, I went for my second class and a year later, my third class. I simply hunkered down and practiced everything about bread baking I learned (still have a lot to learn)...And bread baking now has become a routine (almost every other day). And the family's favourite? Sweet bun, sandwich loaf and baguette.

I would leave my Kitchen Aid to do the bulk of the kneading. And I have little hands to help me shape and fill the buns. So bread making now is fun indeed.

And my sweet bun recipe? Here goes....

In a bowl, measure and mix using dough hook - 600g bread flour/high protein flour, 12g yeast, 6g bread improver, 6 g salt, 150g sugar, 20g milk powder

Add to bowl - 280g plain cold water, 1 large egg, 20g butter vanilla - beat until mixture forms a dough

Add - 60g butter - Beat for 20 minutes or until the dough comes away clean from your fingers when squeezed)

Divide dough into 40g, round, fill and top each ball before spraying it with plain water (to prevent the outer layer from drying out)

For the red bean bun - flatten the round dough and fill red bean paste in it, round it again. Flatten the ball a bit with your palm and using scissors, make ten strips on the edges of the ball.

For the almond and sugar bun - Divide the 40g dough ball into 3 equal parts. Roll each part into 6 inches long. Plait. Sprinkle with sugar and toasted slivered almonds).

Proof the dough for 1 1/2 hours.

Glaze (1 egg + 1/2 cup fresh milk). Brush lightly. DO NOT force the brush on buns.

Preheat oven to 190C. Bake for 8 - 9 minutes or until the buns turn golden brown. Rotate the tray halfway through baking if necessary for even browning.

The same recipe can be used for sausage buns.

RED VELVET CAKE

2011-04-23T22:04:00.006+08:00

Today is one of the busiest days of my life. Having arrived in Dungun at 2 am last night, I had to then type out the recipes for my class for the next morning. It was a demonstration and lucky enough, no one noticed the tremendous exhaustion I felt (not even a yawn) that made even the wall seemed comfy enough for me to lean on relaxingly. It was a 'special cakes' class and one of the items was 'Red Velvet Cake' (I reckon that words and fashion reach across this part of the country pretty fast these days, hence, this cake has made its name here as well). Whether you see it as a stale version of chocolate cake or a cake with a bitter aftertaste (due to the beetroot juice), this cake has its own distinctive class and has made its way to the best bakery boutiques in town.

Ingredients:

Cake: preheat oven to 170C

A : 280g self-raising flour + 20g cocoa powder (sifted)

B : In a jug, pour 135g milk + 2tsp lemon juice/vinegar + 80 g red dragon fruit/beet root juice + red colour (I use the Wilton deep red gel colour) + vanilla + yellow

C : 200g butter + 180g sugar + 50g oil (the oil helps to produce a moist cake)

D : 2 eggs (A grade)

Method:

1. Beat (C) until light and fluffy

2. Add the eggs one by one and mix well (mixer at medium speed)

3. While mixer is on slow speed, add in A and B alternately in 3 or 4 portions.

4. When mixture is combined well, pour onto a 14X14 inch tin. Bake for 12 minutes first and check whether the cake springs back when touched. If it does, then the cake is ready. Cool the cake in chiller.

4. Divide the cake into 4 equal layers. Line a 7-inch removable-base cake tin with one cake sheet and spread 1/4 of the filling. Layer with another sheet of cake. Spread filling and repeat the procedure until the last layer.

5. Cool the cake for at least 4 hours before unmoulding it.

The filling:

400g whipping cream

300g cream cheese (soften at room temperature)

100g icing sugar

Method:

1. Beat cream cheese until mixture is smooth.

2. Add cream and sugar and beat medium speed until it becomes spreadable.

The cake does not need to be heavily decorated as it is normally served as it is. Enjoy!

Daily Decisions

2011-04-19T21:19:00.003+08:00

It was a very hot day today. It was too hot for me to walk to the mini-mall nearby. So, my Mom dropped me off there at around 1pm today. The Easter Sale at the Christian bookstore officially started today, which was why I was so excited to go there.

I've had my eye on the ESV (English Standard Version) Study Bible for a long time now. The leather edition sells for above RM224! Because of the Easter Sale discount, for a limited time, I can get it for only RM179! So, this afternoon, I headed straight to the Christian bookstore and bought it! The last pristine copy left! It's like the Study Bible was waiting for me to buy it!

I'm so excited! I can't wait to delve into it tonight during my quiet time. I have extra motivation to read the Bible now! I've been rather lax lately, I hope my enthusiasm lasts though! Heck! I'll make it last! I've never read the Bible cover to cover in all my years as a Christian, well, this is the year I'll finally succeed!

After that, I went to an air-conditioned cafe, known as "Kitchen Creatures". It's a no frills restaurant with bright lighting and ample natural sunshine to make it an ideal place for me to do cross-stitch in. Well, since my Mom is giving me the entire afternoon to hang around here, I brought my cross-stitch along! Man, did I make progress on that project today!

"Hmmmm! What to order?". I finally decided on their home-made fish fingers as I just wanted a small snack, I already had lunch, some taiwanese meat sauce noodles, courtesy of my Mom, she brought it home for me (I ate before my outing).

The fish fingers were delicious. I then asked for ice and poured my little bottle of water that I always carry with me into the glass, Ah refreshing iced-water! But then, I was still v. thirsty, like I said, it was a hot day!

I then order some old-fashioned root beer, sweetened with cane sugar, NOT HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup)! 40 grams of sugar, oh well! The lesser of the 2 evils, at least it 's not HFCS! (refer to article on HFCS on SP! [www.sparkpeople.com]). And it's not everyday I drink soda......

The 4pm rolled around. I was starting to feel hungry again, looking at all the delicious food the other patrons were ordering. I was busily cross-stitching by then. At around 4.30pm, I finally gave in and ordered a pizza. Now, the pizza's here only come in one size : 10 inches in diameter.

Oh Man! I can't finish that much pizza! Then, an idea come to me, courtesy of my SP membership! I'll brown bag what I can't finish home! Then I can have another meal of two for later or I can even treat my family to pizza! So, being a good girl, I ordered the vegetarian pizza, because I was supposed to watch my protein/phosphate levels, and only ate 3 slices, I ordered the waiter to brown bag the rest straightaway, so I wouldn't be tempted to polish it all off, it was delicious!!!!

When I got home, I was too full to eat dinner, but I figured some more vegies won't hurt, so I ate a small serving of bitter gourd that my Mom cooked. I was thinking, I shouldn't have ordered the pizza as my Mom cooked a nice dinner today, but hey! I was hungry in that cafe, surrounded by people eating pizza and pasta!

Oh, well! I just consider it a celebration of sorts for my finally getting my BIG treat : The ESV Study Bible! Man! It feels so good to treat myself! I can't afford to do that all the time though.......so the next treat will in the next 2 months of so........

Some Minor Adjustments

2011-04-09T22:07:00.002+08:00

Anyone can get used to anything, even if it is unpleasant or difficult. That's what I found out during my years as a dialysis patient. I've been a dialysis patient for 6 years and counting now.

At first I encountered less problems (after I got free of my IJC : which is the tube inserted into my jagular vein, that is, my neck before my arm access matured), as my body was still new to dialysis. But now, going into my 6th year, my heart is not as healthy as it once was, and the phosphate, calcium & potassium levels have accumulated in my blood due to careless eating.

As a dialysis patient, I can't eat like a normal person. Well, after 6 years I guess I kinda think : "What the heck! I'll die someday even if I'm careful anyway, so I might as well enjoy eating", and went on my merry way eating whatever I like, however much I like, "to hell with portion control!", until the doctor gave me an ultimatum.....

So, in a nutshell, I have to really watch my protein, phosphate (protein and phosphate are like partners : where there's protein, there's phosphate), potassium, sodium and fluid intake. No excuses, no arguments or my medical fees are going to go up. That is, the doctor has threatened to exchange my phosphate binder from the affordable Calcium Carbonate to the more effective & much more costly Lanthanum Salts.

Now, I'm already spending a lot on my condition as it is, so I guess I have no choice but to be a good girl and follow the renal diet closely. So, today I was preparing dinner for myself, my Dad and my brother, because my Mom was out and requested I handle dinner.

So, I thought, "Yay! I'm finally in control of the menu, so let's put this new diet to work in my cooking today!", If my Mom cooks something that's unsuitable for me, I just take less of the unsuitable foods and more of the suitable components but today, I was in control.

Omelettes? Well, I can't have egg yolks but I can have egg whites. Minor adjustment : I just separated the yolks from the whites and prepared 2 omelettes! One using the whites and one using just the yolks, my normal Dad and brother can have the yolks, I'll take the whites. A little more effort maybe, but it was just a minor adjustment. I didn't waste food and everyone's happy!

Meat, I can't have much, but I'm not just cooking for me, but for my Dad and brother as well, I'll just prepare a meat dish and they can have it, I'll either not take the meat or take just one small piece. Again, everyone's happy.

I also cooked a vegetable dish, that I can have, but not too much though, I have to watch my potassium levels as well, I also fried some potatoes. But before cooking the potatoes, I soaked them in water first after slicing them to leach out the potassium. No addition of phosphate to crisp up the potatoes, I just fried them fresh. I took just a few slices because potatoes have phosphate too.

Minor adjustments like these just take a little bit of effort but I have to make them because my life depends on it. If my phosphate & company levels get out of control, there will be some unpleasant and potentially life threatening consequences. I'll just have to adjust and control my desires for certain foods.

Minor adjustments, I can do that! It's no problem! After all, it's my life I'm prolonging!

Munching on MUFFINS....

2011-04-08T15:21:00.007+08:00

Muffins are one of my favourite comfort foods as they are effortlessly easy and breezy to prepare. Such lovely, fluffy and crumbly cupcake-like goodies make excellent breakfast, kids' lunch and even picnic munchies. Spruce them up with blueberries, oatmeal, dried fruits for that ultimate guilt-free snack that pairs beautifully with a steaming cup of coffee in the morning or those fancy-flavoured tea in the evening.

Muffins can be prepared in 2 ways - Creaming method & Muffin method. Personally, I prefer the latter as they are more traditionally 'muffin-like' (crumbly and has more substance unlike the more cake-like and fluffy nature of the other type). However, my kids love the cake-like muffins and fortunately, I have an excellent fluffy muffin recipe that I can play with to get as many flavours and colours possible!

1 recipe many variations...time-saving indeed.

Ingredients:

50g butter

70g fine sugar

1 egg (beaten lightly)

50g self raising flour + 50g plain flour + 1 tbsp baking powder

50g fresh milk

Method:

1. Beat 50g butter and 70g fine sugar till pale and white.

2. Add the beaten egg into it. Continue beating till mixture is evenly mixed.

3. On medium speed, add the dry ingredients, followed by fresh milk. When mixture is well mixed, choose your flavouring as follows:

Chocolate - add 50g chocolate chips + 10 g cocoa powder + 20g melted chocolate

Mocha - add 10 g cocoa powder + 1 tsp instant coffee powder (in 1 tbsp water)

Pandan/Screwpine flavour - add 1 tsp pandan paste + 2 drops green colouring

Blueberry - fold into mixture 100 g of blueberry filling

Carrot walnut - 1/2 cup chopped walnuts + 1/2 cup shredded carrot + drops of yellow colour

Apple - 1/2 tsp cinnamon powder + 2 tbsp applesauce

Strawberry - add 1 tsp of strawberry puree/jam right into each muffin cup already filled with mixture

Most of the time, I would sprinkle either coloured rice or hundreds and thousands on each muffin to make them more irresistibly attractive. Most importantly, let the muffins rest for 20 minutes before baking them. Bake at 190C for about 15 minutes or until it springs back when touched.

It's fun to create as many flavours and toppings as possible. I even sprinkle streusal on top of my muffins sometimes. Thinking about selling muffins from home? Why not? I do!

eHomemakers Malaysia

Wishes for all

Aziza

Too much tuition

Lost Treasure

The Peanut Butter Woman

Gifts of Love

All Those Bananas

Losing GG

In the lands of Coffee

A Mother's Dream

All that English on Eating

A Food Guide

You Do It La, You Are So Free!

Happy CNY

My Recent Cooking Escapade

New Year Resolutions

Pot Of Gold At The End Of Every Rainbow

Benefits Of Taking A Break From Work

Taking A Break From Work

Are We Greedy and Guilty Malaysians?

Bored Singaporean Homemaker Starts Talking To Herself

Hello Everyone!

Related articles

The Colours of Merdeka Raya

SALAM RAMADHAN

Sweet and Sour fish

Homemade Ceaser Salad!!!

A child in need

Learning to Live Within My Means

Ehomemakers Community Cooking Class

Meeting Myself Halfway

HOMEMADE CHICKEN CHOP

HEALTHY HOMEMADE BREAD - Sweet bun

RED VELVET CAKE

Daily Decisions

Some Minor Adjustments

Munching on MUFFINS....