Showing posts from May, 2019

Birth Of This Blog

This blog would not have happened without Ms Chong Sheau Ching's instigation. We have met many years ago at a writer's event in MPH at One Utama Shopping Mall. I think it was in 2005. At that time I got to know a teenaged girl by the name of Yvonne Foong. She wanted to embark on the path of writing her autobiography. At the time I was not a professional writer. I have no knowledge on how publishing worked. What need to be done to get a book published and so forth. 
Yvonne placed so much faith in me that I felt maybe she could be misguided to do so. For I did not publish a book then. (Today I have done so) I do not have any publishing contacts. I did not know what steps to become a book. Because of the promise I made to Yvonne that I would be with her all the way until her book (I'm Not Sick, Just A Bit Unwell: Life With Neurofibromatosis) is published, both of us went onto an adventure of meeting writers, publishers and attending writing events.
I have to say, sometimes it h…

To Have Faith

It is not easy to have Faith when nothing is certain. Sometimes we want guarantees all shall be fine yet in life what is truly guaranteed? I would say death is a guarantee that all of us would face at the end of our life journey. Our human body is fragile, limited by our DNA structure  which shaped our mortality.

Having Faith in oneself when there is no support would be another challenge. Having Faith all shall turn out alright when no doors of Light and Love appear for us. Usually in this instance, either we continue to have Faith despite it all or lose Faith because nothing seems to go right.

I have been tested on Faith many times over in this life. Faith in myself. Faith in my own family. Faith in Humanity. Faith in God. My life journey took a lot of challenges to overcome, trauma to make peace with, to forgive people whom hurt me carelessly or intentionally.

I knew what it is like to be lost, confused and losing faith in myself especially when I undergone anorexia nervosa in my teena…

Thankfulness And Gratitude

We could not believe how fast the funds came in after we uploaded our video appealing for funds to Patrick's liver transplant surgery fees. 

I admitted that money was one big worry for without it, the surgery would not proceed. Once HOC set up the appeal on our behalf, I prayed. I prayed hard to God. 

Suddenly a thought came. A video of us as a family, making a plea to friends, family and public. To save Patrick by donating to his surgery fees.

So, we quickly set it into motion on 22 May 2019. 

I could not imagine the responses came beyond Malaysia - Australia, Singapore and more. From people whom I had not talked to for a few years, willingly came forward to donate, send a kind word, prayers and spread the video to their friends. 

Before we go forward to the public, another worry I had was my mother. She has anxiety over Patrick. There were times I had to calm her down, assure her everything shall be fine when I admit I do not actually know whether it is so. I don't wish for my mu…

Please Help Save Patrick

UPDATE: As of 23/5/2019 at 9.30pm, the full amount of RM140,000.00 have been achieved. Those who have spread our videos, sending prayers, good wishes, donations among others... I wish to thank you for your efforts. I am very grateful and very thankful. Thank you. Thank you.

HOC's Facebook page has highlighted the targeted amount been achieved in this link.

Finally, the time has come - fundraising. We are thankful one charity organisation named H.O.C. took up our case to help us raise funds for Patrick's liver surgery. The targeted amount is RM140,000.00.

Above is the video of us as a family, myself, my husband and Patrick

We received news from the fundraiser representative of the recent amount collected as of today. We copy and paste what the fundraiser had updated in HOC Facebook page as follows:-

Fundraising date: 21/05/19 (Tuesday)  Needs payment: RM140,000.00  As of: 23/05/19 (11.30am)
 Raised: RM 85,717.00
 Little Patrick urgently needs 140K surgery to go to Shanghai Renji Hospita…

Do Prayers Work?

I used to be a cynic on whether prayers work for a long time. I used to rely on my own strength rather than onto others because I had a strong belief that people disappoint you. It was best to rely on oneself more than onto others. Truth be told, I was afraid to be hurt. To place my vulnerability in other's hands. 

One day, I relied upon prayers as desperation. It gave me answers, lead me closer to my own healing. It lead me closer to kind people, who opened my heart more and more. 

I have made prayers that was manifested

Each time I got overwhelmed with worries over Patrick, I would experience below:-

Cross in the egg, taken by my mobile.

Sometimes I would be the one who unknowingly gave answers to someone else's prayers.

One day during meditation and prayers, I suddenly have a strong feeling to present a gift to a lady whom I am not familiar with. I could not understand why. The feeling was very strong.

I decided to follow that instinct.

I have been buying some items from her shop…

Managing Stress

Years ago before I meditate and do prayers, my usual method of de-stressing was to watch TV shows especially Korean dramas nightly. On average, I would watch up to 4 to 5 hours per night. Music would also be part of my relaxation method as well. 

I had an anxious mind that kept on replaying events or conversations I could not make peace with yet. People who slighted me. People who frustrated me. People who angered me with their ego and whom I felt placed unfair judgment on me. 

Relying on media was a way to stop these running thoughts. In fact, I wanted to tire out myself until it was time to sleep. Yet not always I can sleep with a tired mind. Cinematic indulgence was a must for me to escape from my troubles. That was the only way to relax. My common belief.

Ten years ago I experienced a bad trauma that caused my mind, heart, body and spirit to be broken. I woke up with constant fear and running thoughts of anger on how the world was unfair to me. How no one understood me. I was running…