I had shared chronological dates with my friends last year, which I would reproduce as follows:-
1) Sep 7 - First dream: giving birth with sensation soft pushing the baby. Saw the baby staring at me and vice versa. I noticed an umbilical cord.
2) Sep 8 - noticed a slight menstrual cramp ( once a day) continuously happened for next few days until Sep 11
3) - Second dream: seeing my son crawling around with cloth diapers. Crying, and I picked him up to comfort him. Walking round with colourful diaper on his back
4) Sep 13 - Third dream: my tummy goes down flat. Feel my intestines going down. Feel a big pressure around vagina area. Feel like pushing....I even heard the word - "PUSH!" The sensation of pushing lingers a couple of seconds longer after I woke up.
5) Sep 14 after midnight...felt my first painful contraction at my lower belly that lasted almost ten seconds. Then second one...more than an hour later before I sleep. Feel like singing Amazing Grace . Which I did...calmed me down, went to sleep.
6) Sep 14 2017, woke up hungry at 5.20am. 6.08am - first time feel sensation of expanding feel near my vagina area....( was told later cervix opening) so far no more of painful contractions feeling now.
7) Sep 16 2017 - Dreamt I was in the hospital, walking around to be ready. My husband was with me. I was resting on a sofa in the next scene. Suddenly my tummy kinda deflated...and I see the the outline shape of my son in my tummy. I can see his eyes, nose and shape of his body clearly. Suddenly realised amniotic fluid burst and I feel I need to push.
I woke up...lay down for a few minutes....suddenly...at 5.44am, I felt contractions pain..then, within a few minutes time, again contractions..but now no more...Suddenly I heard Amazing Grace in the background....and I think for a while, I thought I hear a chorus of voices singing...For more than a minute...when this stopped...I suddenly hear these words clearly, "Be ready."...Twice...
Then I switch on the lights...alert...and waiting for the next contractions...so far none. Except tightening of uterus.
My dreams were certainly vivid, to prepare me for my son's coming birth!
At 34-35 weeks, I can feel his head faced down towards my pelvic. The extra pressure caused added pain to my hips. No longer I experienced rib pain whenever his head pushed against my left rib.
My doctor was expecting my baby to come naturally between 36-37 weeks. I was having these signs of birth physically. Although I was happy about it yet concerned would it be too early? Yet if this happen naturally, who am I to argue with my body?
There was a part of me who could not wait for my pregnancy to end. It had been painful daily. I had to walk in pain especially in going up the stairs. When I needed to stand up from my chair after each meal, I always mentally readied myself to feel the pain. I had to consciously tell myself that this was part of my pregnancy symptoms. I am to accept. Not resent.
I came to appreciate the little things which I took for granted prior pregnancy - sleeping on my back. ( I had to sleep sitting upright for the last 3-4 months before Sept 2017). The lacking in sleep ( i used to feel sleeping for 6 hours was not enough. Yet now I had to make do with three hours of sleep nightly).
My heightened senses that made me preferred to be a homebody than going out. There were times I don't wish to interact with people especially with those who have negative attitude. These group of people would caused me to feel nauseous, gagging and discomfort. Although I may try to retain a sense of calmness by trying to maintain my meditative and prayer practice,
The amazing feeling of a moving baby inside me, especially in response to my singing and talking to him.
|To me, lotus representing my body ready to be blossom. The |
Light within represent my son. Photo taken by my mobile.
My feet gonna fly off the ground!
The surges growing stronger
And it’s progressively longer.
The ache, ache, oh my ache.
My pelvic gonna drop anytime
Waddle like a penguin
My body seem to be on running engine.
Oh yes! Oh Yes! This is THE sign!
Nearing to the finishing line.
My feet gonna run like the wind
Waiting for the right time.
When I feel like go,
Then suddenly the show no flow.
And I gooooooo…..so sloowwwwww
Another sun rises once more,
Body occasionally growing sore
This waiting game testing my Patience
or maybe I am being tested how Present.
No need to throw a fit.
Just eat, pray, meditate and chill
I know you’re coming.
The sun shall rise and shine.
Wait I shall, my lovely son.
Yet what else can I do?
© Cordelia Lee
|Waiting patiently and impatiently for my son's birth|