Thursday, August 9, 2018

Oh, my pregnancy - Part 2

Dilemma. In less than five days, we are to conduct a detox retreat in Feb 2017. I had been advised by the yoga teacher not to do anything tiring. She was concerned such would affect the stability of my pregnancy. 

We decided to keep quiet with regards to my pregnancy with the retreat participants,
I found myself suddenly becoming easily tired out. I could not do my usual role of the work.  There was one participant who became emotional due to effects of detox. I tried to calm her down, gave her emotional support. 

However, I became drained out easily afterwards. I decided to listen to my body and do lesser of the work. 

My senses also became unusually heightened. Cigarette smell would automatically cause me to be nauseous. My phlegm production was on overdrive during the detox retreat. I kept throwing out phlegm up to 15 times a day. It was a very uncomfortable feeling. I came to understand it’s the body way to naturally detox, preparing for the pregnancy.

I became dizzy easily, have a strange weak feeling in my body that I never felt before. Even of the years I had fell sick before. My body felt strange, as if it no longer belonged to me. 
I also became unusually sensitive to people’s emotions, of loud expressions, whether in public or in social media. Especially when it’s in negativity. I would automatically become nauseous, felt headaches from either reading such or hearing such. 

I also had a nagging feeling which I did not like - the stability of my pregnancy is not strong. All of a sudden, I remembered during late 2016, I have this feeling that when I get pregnant, I need to take extra care. For risk of miscarriage can happen due to my age and to negative people within my vicinity. That I am to limit negativity in order to ensure stability of my pregnancy.

I remember I did not take the message seriously. Because for one thing - I was not pregnant. Another - chances of myself to conceive naturally very slim. Although I did receive the same message a few times, I had a dismissive attitude.

Until now.

I did not like that feeling. Intuition. I need to be careful because risk of miscarriage was there. I did wonder was it my emotions on overdrive due to hormonal changes. Yet this strange feeling of caution kept me on my toes.

I must ensure my baby would be fine! I must!

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