Please Help Save Patrick

Finally, the time has come - fundraising. We are thankful one charity organisation named H.O.C. took up our case to help us raise funds for Patrick's liver surgery. The targeted amount is RM140,000.00.

Above is the video of us as a family, myself, my husband and Patrick

We received news from the fundraiser representative of the recent amount collected as of today. We copy and paste what the fundraiser had updated in HOC Facebook page as follows:-

Fundraising date: 21/05/19 (Tuesday)  Needs payment: RM140,000.00  As of: 23/05/19 (11.30am)
 Raised: RM 85,717.00
 Little Patrick urgently needs 140K surgery to go to Shanghai Renji Hospital for liver transplant surgery.  Little Patrick will fly to Shanghai in mid-June, hoping that his uncle and aunt will help him, and he will appeal to his relatives and friends to donate money and get fundraising as soon as possible.

Those who wish to contribute to save Patrick's life, please send your donations to the following account:-

CIMB 8008072195

Do Prayers Work?

I used to be a cynic on whether prayers work for a long time. I used to rely on my own strength rather than onto others because I had a strong belief that people disappoint you. It was best to rely on oneself more than onto others. Truth be told, I was afraid to be hurt. To place my vulnerability in other's hands. 

One day, I relied upon prayers as desperation. It gave me answers, lead me closer to my own healing. It lead me closer to kind people, who opened my heart more and more. 

I have made prayers that was manifested

Each time I got overwhelmed with worries over Patrick, I would experience below:-

Cross in the egg, taken by my mobile.

Sometimes I would be the one who unknowingly gave answers to someone else's prayers.

One day during meditation and prayers, I suddenly have a strong feeling to present a gift to a lady whom I am not familiar with. I could not understand why. The feeling was very strong.

I decided to follow that instinct.

I have been buying some items from her shop…

Managing Stress

Years ago before I meditate and do prayers, my usual method of de-stressing was to watch TV shows especially Korean dramas nightly. On average, I would watch up to 4 to 5 hours per night. Music would also be part of my relaxation method as well. 

I had an anxious mind that kept on replaying events or conversations I could not make peace with yet. People who slighted me. People who frustrated me. People who angered me with their ego and whom I felt placed unfair judgment on me. 

Relying on media was a way to stop these running thoughts. In fact, I wanted to tire out myself until it was time to sleep. Yet not always I can sleep with a tired mind. Cinematic indulgence was a must for me to escape from my troubles. That was the only way to relax. My common belief.

Ten years ago I experienced a bad trauma that caused my mind, heart, body and spirit to be broken. I woke up with constant fear and running thoughts of anger on how the world was unfair to me. How no one understood me. I was running…

Keep On Talking To People

"Keep on talking to people."

This advice was accompanied with kindly eyes and a sympathetic face.

Before this advice was given, we order fried vegetarian rice as our dinner from this advisor. He was a cook at a shop. 

When we finished our meal, my husband signal him it was time to pay the bill.

After my husband paid him, the cook glanced at our son.

"May I know what's wrong with him?"

My husband explained.

Instead of leaving the table, the cook stared a few second longer at our son. He looked as if he was deciding whether to stay or leave. He decided to stay.

He sat next to my husband and shared his story.

"I have three children. The middle child is a son. He was the only child that caused us to be worried the most. He was born prematurely at 7 months old. He needed to be in the hospital for almost 60 days. When he was discharged, he was a very small baby at almost 1.6kg. Because of his premature birth, he has two holes in the heart."

I was surprised by his per…

Emotional Day

Bloodshot eyes staring at me in the mirror. My body slightly shook. I felt my heart shattered into pieces. The last time I cried this hard was when I saw Patrick's unconscious state after the KASAI surgery.

Ever since we were admitted into the hospital on Monday ( 13 May 2019), I did not manage to destress. My usual method of de-stressing would be meditating and praying. If I have time I would include Qigong practices as well.

It can be quite a challenge because Patrick would try to attract my attention. At one time while I was meditating, he would climb onto my body and making squealing sounds. The more I ignored him, the more he wants my attention. 

During night time, Patrick had trouble sleeping. It was due to the growing itchiness of his body. There may be times he would be deeply asleep. Suddenly he would wake up with cries of distress while scratching his body. Sometimes his scratches were so hard that it drew blood on his body.

While we were in the hospital, he has been waking …

Blood Extraction

14 May 2019

Although we were prepared that more blood extraction to get from Patrick unlike before, when I finally see that in action...I was totally unprepared.

One big test tube sample was used to collect Patrick's blood. And five or six small ones. Usually Patrick dislike this procedure.

On the morning of 14 May 2019, two doctors dropped by our room. They asked questions on Patrick's state. How was his stools and urine lately? His mannerisms among others.

When both doctors left, one female doctor soon came after. She was assigned to extract blood from Patrick. She prepared us to be ready soon. Somehow when Patrick saw her, he reacted with a distress cry. When she came a little nearer to show she was friendly, Patrick cried even more and raised his index finger to the doorway.

"You want me to leave? Ok ok."

Before she left, she reminded me to come soon. Again, Patrick gave a protesting cry as if he understood her. Again, his index finger raised to the doorway. I was not …

Start Of Roller Coaster

13 May 2019

We registered Patrick for admission to the hospital on 13th May 2019. We prepared him that it shall be for one night. The impression given by the doctor last week was for one night. It turned out not to be true. I will share more of that in a subsequent article.

By 4pm plus, the doctors came to us to discuss on the liver test assessment on Patrick and on my husband. I am not qualified to be a donor on initial assessment. Though it would be better I am the donor as Patrick and myself have the same blood group. My husband blood type is different, which was a cause of concern. 

Before admitting Patrick to hospital, we had a WeChat discussions with one doctor representing the Shanghai hospital. The name of the hospital who conducted children liver transplants is Renji Hospital. We shared of our concern that my husband and Patrick is of a different blood type.

The doctor assured us that it would be better this is done before the child is two years old. Patrick shall be so by Octobe…