Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Someone Landed Into An Ambulance Last Evening....

I was just having my dialysis treatment as usual yesterday evening.

Then, all of a sudden, someone's treatment ended, which just means he has completed his 4 hours of dialysis. But when the nurses went over to wake him (he appeared as if he were asleep), he just wouldn't wake up! Despite several nurses (they were all crowding around him by then!) shouting his name, and slapping his cheek, etc.

This middle-aged gentleman, usually goes home by cab as his children are all busy with their own lives. However, after unsuccessfully trying to wake him, everyone realized that he was in fact in a dialysis coma; which means he fell asleep during treatment and slipped into a coma without anyone being the wiser; in other words, he collapsed without anyone knowing it (including himself).

So, instead of a cab, he ended up on a stretcher in an ambulance. I will pray for him tonight. But if he doesn't make it, he will just join the rest of the people I know who's been called home by the Lord from the dialysis center.

Sure, I feel scared. If it can happen to him, why not me, I'm a dialysis patient too......

Author: eowyn

Why I'd rather be on dialysis than have a transplant

I'm a dialysis patient. I have been one for around 6 years. I am not a good candidate for a kidney transplant because the cause of my kidney failure is SLE. SLE patients aren't good candidates for a transplant, as the SLE that caused my kidney failure in the first place just might happen again. SLE is an autoimmune disease whereby my immune system produces mutant antibodies that attacks my own organs. That, my friends, in a nutshell explains what happened to my kidneys.

A bit more about SLE, in different SLE sufferers, different organs get attacked. For some, it's the kidneys, others, the heart (which can even be fatal), some others, the skin, and some, even the brain. I have been on the renal diet for a total of 13 years, which means I've managed to stall eventual dialysis for 7 years after I was first diagnosed with SLE.

What most people don't know is, even if a dialysis patient (for argument's sake, one that doesn't have SLE) does get a successful transplant, they will have to be on immunosuppressant drugs for the rest of their lives, at the tune of USD1,000 (approximately) a month. Fine, if you're rich, but how many people are? A lot of people aren't rich enough to afford that, a lot of normal, healthy people. What more a dialysis patient who's just had a successful transplant?

The government will give aid to a person on dialysis but not a person who's had a successful transplant. That person will be treated like a normal healthy person. Hence, he/she will have to pay for the immunosuppressant drugs himself/herself. Month after month, for the rest of his/her life. Who can afford that? For the rest of his/her life? I don't know about them, but for me, I'd rather be on dialysis. It may be inconvenient but at least I can rest easy that I don't have to keep coughing up thousands and thousands of hard-earned money a year just to keep my transplanted kidneys alive!

And a lot of those drugs are steroids. They puff up the face horribly. I've been on steroids before for my SLE. And I say "No, thank you!", I've had enough of looking ugly for a long time! I'm not going to be on steroids for the rest of my life just to avoid the dialysis machine! It isn't worth it! Especially if I have to keep worrying about paying an exorbitant price month after month for the rest of my life!

Even if I wasn't an SLE patient, I would still choose NOT to get a transplant. For me, the added financial and physical stress just isn't worth it. Others in my position might think differently but this is my choice and this is my stand!

Author: eowyn

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

No Excuses!

My weight has always been on a yo-yo trip.

It goes up and down and up and down again. I have concrete proof in the form of my dialysis records. There was a time when my dry weight (weight after dialysis) was 54.5kgs! There was also a time when it was 68kgs! My dry weight is currently 56kgs and now I'm depressed! Why can't it be 50kgs?! (my goal weight).

I'm not very tall, so the slightest weight gain turns me into a round beach ball! Okay, perhaps I'm exaggerating a little but that's how I feel whenever I see photos of myself now. My face especially is so round I feel like burying my face in the sand so no one can look at me!

My dad keeps telling me that as a dialysis patient, I cannot exercise as intensely as a normal person. Perhaps he's right but that's no excuse for me to weigh what I weigh and to look the way I look! No excuses! No Siree! From now on, it's exercise!, exercise! and consciously making wiser choices of the foods I eat and eating less of food in general. No more desserts! And no more 'special treats' like potato chips, fries, burgers, pizza and what not.

Maybe I'll give myself a small treat of not-so-healthy foods (aka, junk) once a month, not more than that and it has be a reasonably small portion. I may not be able to exercise as intensely as a normal healthy person but that doesn't mean that I'm exempted for exercise!

I'm a fairly young adult, so it's doubly important to me to look attractive. Not just to attract the opposite sex but to make me feel good about myself and to bolster my already flagging self-esteem. I'm already very self-conscious about the scars on my dialysis arm (I can't wear too revealing clothes like off- shoulder/spaghetti straps now), so being overweight is not helping matters much.

Just because I'm sick doesn't mean I have to look sick or unhealthy, I can still try my best to do whatever I can to look attractive and to be healthy! So, Day 1 starts today! Well, bye! I'm off for my jog!

Author: eowyn