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Showing posts from May, 2019

Birth Of This Blog

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This blog would not have happened without Ms Chong Sheau Ching 's instigation. We have met many years ago at a writer's event in MPH at One Utama Shopping Mall. I think it was in 2005. At that time I got to know a teenaged girl by the name of Yvonne Foong . She wanted to embark on the path of writing her autobiography.  At the time I was not a professional writer. I have no knowledge on how publishing worked. What need to be done to get a book published and so forth.  Yvonne placed so much faith in me that I felt maybe she could be misguided to do so. For I did not publish a book then. (Today I have done so) I do not have any publishing contacts. I did not know what steps to become a book. Because of the promise I made to Yvonne that I would be with her all the way until her book  ( I'm Not Sick, Just A Bit Unwell: Life With Neurofibromatosis ) is published, both of us went onto an adventure of meeting writers, publishers and attending writing events. I have to say

To Have Faith

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It is not easy to have Faith when nothing is certain. Sometimes we want guarantees all shall be fine yet in life what is truly guaranteed? I would say death is a guarantee that all of us would face at the end of our life journey. Our human body is fragile, limited by our DNA structure  which shaped our mortality. Having Faith in oneself when there is no support would be another challenge. Having Faith all shall turn out alright when no doors of Light and Love appear for us. Usually in this instance, either we continue to have Faith despite it all or lose Faith because nothing seems to go right. I have been tested on Faith many times over in this life. Faith in myself. Faith in my own family. Faith in Humanity. Faith in God. My life journey took a lot of challenges to overcome, trauma to make peace with, to forgive people whom hurt me carelessly or intentionally. I knew what it is like to be lost, confused and losing faith in myself especially when I undergone anorexia

Thankfulness And Gratitude

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We could not believe how fast the funds came in after we uploaded our video appealing for funds to Patrick's liver transplant surgery fees.  I admitted that money was one big worry for without it, the surgery would not proceed. Once HOC set up the appeal on our behalf, I prayed. I prayed hard to God.  Suddenly a thought came. A video of us as a family, making a plea to friends, family and public. To save Patrick by donating to his surgery fees. So, we quickly set it into motion on 22 May 2019.  I could not imagine the responses came beyond Malaysia - Australia, Singapore and more.  From people whom I had not talked to for a few years, willingly came forward to donate, send a kind word, prayers and spread the video to their friends.  Before we go forward to the public, another worry I had was my mother. She has anxiety over Patrick. There were times I had to calm her down, assure her everything shall be fine when I admit I do not actually know whether it is so. I don'

Please Help Save Patrick

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UPDATE: As of 23/5/2019 at 9.30pm, the full amount of RM140,000.00 have been achieved. Those who have spread our videos, sending prayers, good wishes, donations among others... I wish to thank you for your efforts. I am very grateful and very thankful. Thank you. Thank you. HOC's Facebook page has highlighted the targeted amount been achieved in this link . Finally, the time has come - fundraising. We are thankful one charity organisation named H.O.C . took up our case to help us raise funds for Patrick's liver surgery. The targeted amount is RM140,000.00. Above is the video of us as a family, myself, my husband and Patrick We received news from the fundraiser representative of the recent amount collected as of today. We copy and paste what the fundraiser had updated in HOC Facebook page as follows:- Fundraising date: 21/05/19 (Tuesday)  Needs payment: RM140,000.00  As of: 23/05/19 (11.30am)  Raised: RM 85,717.00  Little Patrick urgently need

Managing Stress

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Years ago before I meditate and do prayers, my usual method of de-stressing was to watch TV shows especially Korean dramas nightly. On average, I would watch up to 4 to 5 hours per night. Music would also be part of my relaxation method as well.  I had an anxious mind that kept on replaying events or conversations I could not make peace with yet. People who slighted me. People who frustrated me. People who angered me with their ego and whom I felt placed unfair judgment on me.  Relying on media was a way to stop these running thoughts. In fact, I wanted to tire out myself until it was time to sleep. Yet not always I can sleep with a tired mind. Cinematic indulgence was a must for me to escape from my troubles. That was the only way to relax. My common belief. Ten years ago I experienced a bad trauma that caused my mind, heart, body and spirit to be broken. I woke up with constant fear and running thoughts of anger on how the world was unfair to me. How no one understood me. I was

Keep On Talking To People

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"Keep on talking to people." This advice was accompanied with kindly eyes and a sympathetic face. Before this advice was given, we order fried vegetarian rice as our dinner from this advisor. He was a cook at a shop.  When we finished our meal, my husband signal him it was time to pay the bill. After my husband paid him, the cook glanced at our son. Both my husband and the cook exchanged our family stories especially when came to health challenges. "May I know what's wrong with him?" My husband explained. Instead of leaving the table, the cook stared a few second longer at our son. He looked as if he was deciding whether to stay or leave. He decided to stay. He sat next to my husband and shared his story. "I have three children. The middle child is a son. He was the only child that caused us to be worried the most.  He was born prematurely at 7 months old. He needed to be in the hospital for almost 60 days. When he was discharged, he

Emotional Day

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Bloodshot eyes staring at me in the mirror. My body slightly shook. I felt my heart shattered into pieces. The last time I cried this hard was when I saw Patrick's unconscious state after the KASAI surgery . Ever since we were admitted into the hospital on Monday ( 13 May 2019), I did not manage to destress. My usual method of de-stressing would be meditating and praying. If I have time I would include Qigong practices as well. It can be quite a challenge because Patrick would try to attract my attention. At one time while I was meditating, he would climb onto my body and making squealing sounds. The more I ignored him, the more he wants my attention.  During night time, Patrick had trouble sleeping. It was due to the growing itchiness of his body. There may be times he would be deeply asleep. Suddenly he would wake up with cries of distress while scratching his body. Sometimes his scratches were so hard that it drew blood on his body. While we were in the hospital, he has