Mid-Autumn Festival 2020

   

    I measured the shortening and water, then added them into the premix flour. It is always prudent to measure everything before mixing them together. Wearing a sterilized glove, I began my work with the mixture. 

    Last year I made pandan flavoured mung bean snow skin mooncake and oreo cheese. This year I opted for the plain red bean and lotus paste for filling.

    As my hand moved to knead the dough, I realised the mid-autumn festival celebration this year will be different from last year. In 2019, my sister could return from Singapore. Unfortunately, due to the uncertainty of the coronavirus situation, most likely she could not do so this time.

    Even though our family doesn’t really celebrate the festival, for the Chinese, we associate it with reunion and togetherness.

Snow skin mooncake with red bean filling

Snow skin moon cake with pandan flavoured mung bean filling

    “I wish things were back to normal again” I would often hear this from people ever since March this year.

    Either from those lamenting about the Covid-19 situation, people who are feeling lost because of the changes in their lives or from other burn survivors who wished for the life they had before the burn. 

   Changes can be disruptive and painful when things are not within our control. It can disturb our comfortable routine and affects us emotionally, especially when we are unprepared to face the challenges.

    When I was in the ICU, I was afraid of changes. Discomfort and pain would come with any changes, from the change of tube, dressing change, procedures, etc. I got so used to the environment there that I voiced out my concern to my sister when they wanted to transfer me to the burn ward; nearly 4 months since hospitalisation.

    Yes, that sounds crazy, right?

    Being immobile, weak and vulnerable for a long time, can cause a person to think irrationally. The fears and insecurities easily surfaced and becomes magnified. I didn’t realise that over 50% of those who are admitted at the ICU will probably not make it out alive.

    “Going to the burn ward is a good thing. You are getting better,” my sister had to assure me.

    She even took the effort to check on the burn ward and reported the condition there to me, days before the transfer.  

    Yes, my days at the hospital were the most painful thing that I had to go through. Surviving every day was difficult.  Some days I would wonder whether the suffering would ever end.

    It is not possible for us to turn back time and change the past. However, it is alright to acknowledge the feelings we are having, to voice out our frustration at the situation. Being present with our emotions.

    On the other hand, it is not a good idea to wish for something that we have lost and may never return. It is not helpful, nor will it assist us in facing our problems.  “Woe is me” will be detrimental in the long run and so is denial if we cannot accept the reality of the situation. For now, the entire world needs to accept that wearing a mask and social distancing is the “new normal” until we resolve this pandemic. 

    Even though mid-autumn's festival for year 2020 may not be the same, as long as everyone makes an effort to keep themselves and their family safe, there will be many more mid-autumn celebrations to come.