Finding My Voice Through Creativity

This is my first post for 2020. How have the year been for you?

Since 1 January 2020,  I have been baking, stitching sock dolls, writing and singing. I would never imagine my creativity can go beyond poetry writing. I used to have a rather fixed mindset on who I am; what I am capable of and what I am not. 

Handsewn up to 70 sock dolls since 1 January 2020. I have gifted
most of them to hospital children during Patrick's regular medical
appointment in January 2020 & to Ronald McDonald House
Charities for cancer kids in HUKM. 

A few friends shared they could not see me as a sock doll maker or a baker. I could not vision myself as that too. I considered myself an inept cook. I do not consider myself much of a cook and a baker. I have no interest to learn too. Because of Patrick, I encouraged myself to make some attempts. 

My initial failed attempts in baking muffin, cookies and chocolate cake.

Cooking meals and soup for the family.

Latest crafted cookies I baked on 23 Jan 2020. 

My successful attempts in baking almond flavoured mouse
cookies, butterfly shaped butter cookies and muffins ( banana
muffins, vanilla muffins and blueberry muffins.)

Years ago, the only creativity I allow myself to channel was through poetry. My voice hidden from many others. I would allow myself to feel the raw emotions and of my vulnerability through poetry. When I could not consciously process my thoughts, it is through poetry when I would pause and release what is stored within my subconscious. When I wrote it out, I became clearer in my perception of myself and of the situation I was in earlier. 

For a long time I lacked confidence in my voice, in sharing my thoughts aloud. So usually I kept them to myself unless I can trust the person would not hurt me. As time goes by, I brave myself to share my poetry to friends and acquaintances. 

I always assumed the only source of a creative outlet for me would be to write poetry and some amateurish writing that serve more for my self-expression outlet rather than to share with others.  I used to feel I have nothing to contribute and no one would be interested to read my writings. It was until I reached my mid-30s I got awaken to the possibility of challenging myself to write to the next level. 

I have read we may grow bolder with age. It appeared to be so with me. 

Today, I courageously explore my creativity through different outlet; writing, singing, baking, sock doll making, crafting and more. I no longer tell myself such creative endeavour I cannot do. I will say why not I make an attempt and observe what comes next. If the activity sparked some initial interest, I chose to explore further. If not, I would appreciate the experience as it was then and move on.

Have you told yourself you cannot do this or that without even making an attempt first? Why not instead of saying no to yourself, give yourself the opportunity to try something new. We will never know what we could be capable of until we give ourselves a chance to do something different from our usual expression. You may surprise yourself along the way. 


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