eHomemakers Malaysia

Many of us have faced challenges in life, be it relationships, finances, health, family, work among others. Our heads would spin, our hearts broken and unstable. Even our breath erratic, rapid with short gasps and shallow. I've been through all these challenges of life. Today my latest challenge to date is managing my son's condition.  When it was confirmed he h as  biliary atresia   and especially after knowin g the symptoms of it, my world crashed and my heart in broken dreams as a mother. My first experience as a mother and I am to face my greatest challenge whether he would li ve  beyond two years . These as stated by some literature and research on biliary atresia. Some part of me wished it was not so. Some part of me went why me. Some part of me blamed others. Was it others who put me under  so much stress and pressure  that resulted that outcome? Oh, how my head was spinning and spinning in December 2017. I felt this...

In one week's time we shall know of Patrick's fate. We are to observe his behaviour whether he has changes such as less activeness, more fussy, his tiredness level among others.  I decided to have an action plan for a week prior to his next week medical appointment. 1) Encourage him to laugh and smile more (to raise his quota of joy, happiness and positivity from the previous doctor appointment) Usually it's my husband who does that. I usually make him laugh by making up silly words, singing and with sudden silly laughter.  2) sing more of self  empowerment songs to encourage Patrick to be strong, of never giving up in face of adversity Song Title: Never give in, never give up Written and sung by me Song Title: Baby Power Sung by me Song based upon below - The Power by Snap! 3) Encourage him to think and feel of Love. Song Title: I love Written and sung by me 4) maybe have a heart to heart, mother and ...

His frustrated eyes into mine. I could sense his impatience of wanting to return home. His body language revealed to me he did not want to be here. Patrick was sitting upright on the metal chair while looking up to me.  I touched the back of his palm where the earlier blood extraction was taken place. Gently I rubbed that area as I tried to make him understand. "Remember here? The doctor take your blood? Blood removed from your body." I rubbed the back of his palm a few times. Then made a gesture of my hand moving beyond his hand. "Blood take out for doctor to read. Doctor to read whether Patrick's body is strong or weak. Cannot leave the hospital yet. See doctor first. I am sorry, Patrick." He gave a frustrated sigh.  Before our conversation, we waited for a few hours for his turn to do his blood test.  This time more blood to be extracted in order to have a thorough reading on the state of his liver functioning. By the time it...

One year almost ending, another year coming. We have gone through a lot together as a family. Our perception of life, humanity and love has changed so much. I credit this to Patrick's presence in our lives. As I am writing now, Patrick tried to attract my attention by s udden chuckles. I will stop writing, hold him and kiss him. Exactly a year ago, I tried hard to   make him smile and laugh. Today, he takes initiatives to make us smile and laugh.  On this  journey I met courageous and amazing people whom inspired me, supported me, strengthen me. I have strong support from my parents and brother when comes to Patrick's well being. My in-laws have given their support in their own way as well.  The closest and greatest support would be my husband. He has tirelessly taken care of us even when he is exhausted from work. He would encourage me when my emotions became affected. I am blessed I have a good husband and a good dad to ...

On a journey of uncertainty, confusion, chaos and emotional turbulence, that is when we turn to Faith. Some lost Faith when they did not get the answers they wanted or what they prayed for did not manifest. Some Faiths however strengthen despite the journey appearing more unknown and uncertain. To me, Faith is a personal journey. No one can tell you what you should do with your Faith. It's yours alone and not for others to dictate what it should be to their understanding. To their belief system. To their comfort zone. For God would show the ever faithful His Answer, His Direction. His Guidance. I remembered my Faith was weakened in the month of April 2018. Patrick's jaundice did not appear to be growing any better. In fact, it was steadily increasing in bilirubin. My mother questioned on why is he not getting any better. Sometimes I do not know how to answer her. How could I give her a definite answer when the doctors could not? On average, I had be...

26 December 2018 We had a doctor's appointment to do echocardiogram on Patrick's heart. It is a diagnostic cardio ultrasound. Once he realised we were in the hospital again, Patrick became slightly nervous. He would sometimes fidget more in anticipation of a medical procedure to be done on him once more. Whenever we follow up on Patrick's medical appointments, we usually assured him it would not be painful nor a scary medical procedure. That it was because he over-think which made it a scary experience.  If he need to take a blood test on that day, we tell him the Truth - that there would be pain but it would be a short pain.  We were requested to sit in the waiting lounge while we waited for Patrick's name to be called. We tried to distract him by playing with him. We allowed him to stand and lean against our bodies while his eyes would move around the room. There were some patients waiting in the lounge as well. Many of...

Before I walked on my spiritual path and journey, I used to have a ‘healthy level of skepticism’ or so  I justified to myself. People cannot be too nice to you with no reason. Based on my experiences and of my friends’ sharing, people tend to  want something back for being ‘nice’ and ‘kind’ to you. It’s  either  a favour which you alone can give to him/her, or wanting a friendship that can give him or her emotional support but he or she may not necessarily  offer the same in return. My dad used to share with me that when he was at corporate top management level, he was surrounded by many ‘friends’ . His colleagues’ wives would invite my mum to social gatherings. They would always appear very helpful to my parents. That all stopped when my dad quit his job and decided to go into his own business. However, because it was the recession, his business faced problems trying to maintain its overhead costs. To dad’s disappointment, all...