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His lips quivered while he judged the height difference between the kitchen and the dining hall floors. The kitchen floor level was approximately 2.5 inches lower than the dining hall floor.
Patrick's eyes looked uncertain while he made a frustrated sound at me. I was sitting on the dining hall floor, gesturing him to come near me. He was on all fours on the kitchen floor. Then he positioned his two hands onto the dining hall floor while the half of his body on the kitchen floor. He raised one leg in the air, uncertain on how to position his leg to the other side. Then his leg came down. He sat up, stared at me with a protesting whine.
"Don't give up, Patrick. You can do it."
I have been trying to empower him with positive songs.
Song Title: Never give in
Written and sung by me
He placed himself on all fours again. Patrick tried to make another attempt. His body language was saying, "I can't". Again, he sat down with a protesting cry. He gestured his hands to me, asking me to carry him.
"Patrick, don't give up so soon. You can do it. You must keep trying. No matter what difficulty you face in life, you must not give up. You can do it. Try, Patrick!"
By then, my husband sat next to me. Both of us kept on encouraging him to keep on trying.
Patrick looked at both of us.
Then he positioned his body again on all fours. Although he still has this lacking in confidence demeanour, he felt encouraged to make another attempt.
He positioned his two hands first onto the dining hall floor. His raised leg in an attempt to go over to the dining hall floor. His leg was hanging in mid air for up to two seconds. Then down his leg went, onto the other side. His entire body finally moved to the dining hall floor.
He sat up with a sunbeam smile. We hugged him and acknowledged his courage.
Since then, he lost his fear of climbing over the difference between the floor heights.
I wish to encourage him to have a non-quitter mentality in face of adversities. For his disease will come with challenges.
I believe in you, Patrick. You can overcome anything. You can do it!
On a journey of uncertainty, confusion, chaos and emotional turbulence, that is when we turn to Faith. Some lost Faith when they did not get the answers they wanted or what they prayed for did not manifest. Some Faiths however strengthen despite the journey appearing more unknown and uncertain. To me, Faith is a personal journey. No one can tell you what you should do with your Faith. It's yours alone and not for others to dictate what it should be to their understanding. To their belief system. To their comfort zone. For God would show the ever faithful His Answer, His Direction. His Guidance. I remembered my Faith was weakened in the month of April 2018. Patrick's jaundice did not appear to be growing any better. In fact, it was steadily increasing in bilirubin. My mother questioned on why is he not getting any better. Sometimes I do not know how to answer her. How could I give her a definite answer when the doctors could not? On average, I had been sleeping 3 hours nightly bec…
The birth of Patrick changed my marriage life from the two of us to the three of us, a family. We were excited, happy, worried followed by all kind of emotions for our baby son. So many things to learn, to experience. Breastfeeding, constant thoughts on our baby's well being especially when his jaundice appeared to rise during his first month. The lacking of sleep. There were moments I observed his breathing while he slept. We were amazed by every new mannerisms that Patrick displayed. We were so charmed when he first smiled to us. I would observed how gently my husband would treat Patrick and how Patrick would looked up to him, listening to his every word.
We were enjoying ourselves as new parents until something happened in the middle of November 2017 that changed our lives forever. "There is something not right with his stools."
My sister in law remarked to me while I tiredly changed Patrick's diapers. Mentally I can be exhausted as new mothers would be. We visited my s…
When I saw Patrick's stained fingers, I observed closely it was blood. I assumed the stain came from his ears again. I observed - no wound. I checked on his arms and legs. No wounds as well. I was puzzled where the stain came from. Then I had a sudden thought - check his diapers. When I saw the bloodstain on the diapers, I panicked and called my husband to come upstairs quickly. When he reached the room, I told him Patrick is bleeding. "where?", he asked "Anus." I pointed to his diapers and then his anus stained blood. It had never happened like this before. Usually there were droplets of blood together with his stools. Even that rarely happened. "Is it starting?", my worried thoughts came. When I glanced towards my husband's face, he too have similar thoughts. "It" refer to liver damage. My husband advised me to clean up his anus. After the blood stain was cleaned, my husband took a closer look. "There is a cut near the anus hole." …