Friend's Visit

12 December 2017

"I know of many babies who died at that time. Many."

That was the journey of SJ with her BA daughter, who was ten years old on above mentioned date. SJ discovered that her daughter have BA when the nurse of the government clinic alerted her that her daughter's white stools were something unusual. That she must get a doctor to examine immediately. Eventually her baby had a liver transplant when her liver further deteriorated to a bad stage.

SJ is a friend of my husband. He has known her for many years.

Her words strike fear in my heart. My breaths temporarily stopped. My body became parched like a desert under the hot sun. I felt my body had heavy weights that were added suddenly, weighing me down on the sofa I was sitting on.

My broken heart over Patrick
Quickly, my eyes turned to my son. My husband was holding Patrick. I could see my husband's face was in shock and fear as well. We were totally unprepared for this.

SJ continued to share that she has seen marriages broke up because couples were unable to face the pressures of having BA baby. The complications that can happen during liver transplant. She knew of one case where the husband wanted to donate his liver to his baby. However, this man's mother strongly opposed. Which caused the breakdown of the marriage.

I am aware SJ indirectly telling us to be stronger in our marital partnership despite whatever hurdles and interferences may come our way.

There were moments where I noted slight tears formed in SJ's eyes while she shared her journey. It was very tough and challenging indeed especially when she almost lost her baby. Her Faith sustain her throughout the journey.

While emotional chaos was happening to the adults, the calm within the storm was Patrick. His interested eyes observing us keenly, trying to understand what we were discussing.

"Am I going to lose my son?" This thought completely broke my heart. "I only just had him. Is he going to die?"

Numbness seized my body. That familiar numbness I felt many years ago when I was a troubled teenager struggled with anorexia nervosa.

Instead of allowing these thoughts to sink me deeper, I decided to brush them aside. 

I need to understand more of this. I need to. I told myself firmly while trying to absorb every little thing she shared with us. 

Hearing the word, "death" made me realised that this is going to be a journey with my son that requires a lot of my strength, faith, endurance and especially love. 

My prayers for strength and courage to face 
what is to come with Patrick

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