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Experienced drama earlier that caused me to have a panic attack.
Patrick was sleeping next to me until he cried. I woke up, noticed a bit of blood stain on his clothing.
I checked both his ears. Sometimes he scratched his ears until it bled. His jaundice can cause him to have itchiness on his skin. Sometimes the itchiness can be unbearable until his scratches drew blood from his forehead, cheeks, ears. However, thankfully that it was not often that he scratched to this level.
Yet both his ears were cleaned. Part of his cheeks had slight blood stains. I was puzzled by the source of the blood until I noticed his nose was bleeding. Bleeding was at his nostril where the tube had been inserted. This was the first time that I saw blood coming from his nostril.
Automatically, I jumped up from my bed and pressed the Emergency button. After the nurse came in and checked his nostril, she went to get a doctor.
I decided not to wait and went out of my room. As I exited my room, one doctor was going towards my way.
"There should not be anything wrong. His reading is normal."
I pointed out his bleeding nose. He went off to check on Patrick's records. I could not wait anymore because I wanted to know whether Patrick's jaundice level had reached to a
It was not the volume of blood as shown above. The blood was a couple of droplets.
From the support group, I had seen photos of babies vomit filled with plenty of blood, nose bleeds and bloody stools. This was a sign of portal hypertension. I cannot help but wondered was it a sign. Yet the amount of bleeding was considered around 0.1ml to 0.2ml in volume.
I noticed the doctor was behind the nurses counter. He appeared to be searching for something. There were a few doctors nearby as well, in conversation.
It was then I took the opportunity to find out his blood test results.
"What's the state of his jaundice, doctor?
His reply was, "yellow."
I was shocked by his reply, and impatiently asked him, "where did you get your degree from?"
Immediately, the doctors who were nearby this doctor went, "oohhhhhhh" while he became red faced at my remark.
He quickly checked the system and informed me that Patrick's jaundice went up slightly to 234 from last week's 229.
INR test now dropped to 1.1, no longer borderline. So the earlier vitamin K prescription had revealed that it was more of Vitamin K deficiency and not a sign of the liver starting to fail.
The doctors had checked. It was likely due to the air conditioning that caused the dryness of his nostrils which led to the bleeding.
I did feel bad afterwards. I was impatient and was being unfair to the doctor. I should not have caused him embarrassment in front of his peers. However, I could not find him later. The doctors always appeared to be on the move. It was a few days later that I found him behind a nurse's station, his eyes focused into the computer.
At first I wanted to turn away, however I still remembered how I had unintentionally embarrassed him. I should apologise for my actions.
I approached the doctor and apologised to him. He looked puzzled and asked for what reason. I reminded him of the incident, and he waved it off.
"It is a very good attitude you have, doctor. Not to put this to your heart. Thank you."
Another day at the hospital. Though I had an earlier scare, it was good to know that his test resulted were not that bad. Although the jaundice level did went up slightly.
I am mostly happy with the encounters that I had with the doctors and nurses. I could see that they are dedicated to their work. Sometimes I could see stressed out faces especially when it appeared to be peak season. They are professionals with dedicated hearts. However, previously I have also met with doctors who have big egos, dismissing or refusing to listen to patients' concern. I am glad to have encountered with the former batch of doctors who gave me a more balanced view of the medical profession.
The birth of Patrick changed my marriage life from the two of us to the three of us, a family. We were excited, happy, worried followed by all kind of emotions for our baby son. So many things to learn, to experience. Breastfeeding, constant thoughts on our baby's well being especially when his jaundice appeared to rise during his first month. The lacking of sleep. There were moments I observed his breathing while he slept. We were amazed by every new mannerisms that Patrick displayed. We were so charmed when he first smiled to us. I would observed how gently my husband would treat Patrick and how Patrick would looked up to him, listening to his every word.
We were enjoying ourselves as new parents until something happened in the middle of November 2017 that changed our lives forever. "There is something not right with his stools."
My sister in law remarked to me while I tiredly changed Patrick's diapers. Mentally I can be exhausted as new mothers would be. We visited my s…
International Women's Day is here once more. Some celebrated it. Some feel should not as a celebration of womanhood should be everyday. To me, these days can be served as a reminder to us. We can be preoccupied with our responsibilities, activities, our families and of life that we sometimes even forget our own birthday.
Today I reflected on the women who have impacted me. Because of these women, they inspired me to write a woman song in 2018.
Women Song sang on 8 March 2020, dedicated to all women readers here. I wrote it in 2018. There are so many women out there who made a big impact on me over the years since a teenager until today. Let me list them whom I can remember offhand:-
1) Anne Subashini - founder of The Inclusive Outdoor Classroom. I have the privilege to get to know her since drum circle days. Her passion is infectious. Her faith, her belief that there should be no division between children no matter of their backgrounds, no matter of their health conditioning is emp…
looked at his pale face and frail body on the hospital bed. Lines and tubes on
his legs and neck. There was a bag at the right side with yellowish looking
water inside. The liquid was not urine but water which had to be pumped out
from his stomach cavity. It was difficult
to see someone whom you have known since young to look so weak. He had lost
weight and aged considerably. It
was the second day of Chinese New Year. My sister and I took a trip down
to Kuala Lumpur to visit relatives. We visited a cousin at the High Dependency Unit,
he had liver cancer and was complaining of diarrhea. Visiting hours were 11.30am
to 1.30am and 5.30pm to 7.30pm. We had to take turns going in as only 2 guests
at a time are allowed.
having the experience of a prolonged stay at the hospital and being immobile, I
was tongue tied. I didn’t know what to say or how to comfort him. I could
only share with him of my previous struggle at the hospital. On
our second visit before our trip back to Penang, …