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Experienced drama earlier that caused me to have a panic attack.
Patrick was sleeping next to me until he cried. I woke up, noticed a bit of blood stain on his clothing.
I checked both his ears. Sometimes he scratched his ears until it bled. His jaundice can cause him to have itchiness on his skin. Sometimes the itchiness can be unbearable until his scratches drew blood from his forehead, cheeks, ears. However, thankfully that it was not often that he scratched to this level.
Yet both his ears were cleaned. Part of his cheeks had slight blood stains. I was puzzled by the source of the blood until I noticed his nose was bleeding. Bleeding was at his nostril where the tube had been inserted. This was the first time that I saw blood coming from his nostril.
Automatically, I jumped up from my bed and pressed the Emergency button. After the nurse came in and checked his nostril, she went to get a doctor.
I decided not to wait and went out of my room. As I exited my room, one doctor was going towards my way.
"There should not be anything wrong. His reading is normal."
I pointed out his bleeding nose. He went off to check on Patrick's records. I could not wait anymore because I wanted to know whether Patrick's jaundice level had reached to a
It was not the volume of blood as shown above. The blood was a couple of droplets.
From the support group, I had seen photos of babies vomit filled with plenty of blood, nose bleeds and bloody stools. This was a sign of portal hypertension. I cannot help but wondered was it a sign. Yet the amount of bleeding was considered around 0.1ml to 0.2ml in volume.
I noticed the doctor was behind the nurses counter. He appeared to be searching for something. There were a few doctors nearby as well, in conversation.
It was then I took the opportunity to find out his blood test results.
"What's the state of his jaundice, doctor?
His reply was, "yellow."
I was shocked by his reply, and impatiently asked him, "where did you get your degree from?"
Immediately, the doctors who were nearby this doctor went, "oohhhhhhh" while he became red faced at my remark.
He quickly checked the system and informed me that Patrick's jaundice went up slightly to 234 from last week's 229.
INR test now dropped to 1.1, no longer borderline. So the earlier vitamin K prescription had revealed that it was more of Vitamin K deficiency and not a sign of the liver starting to fail.
The doctors had checked. It was likely due to the air conditioning that caused the dryness of his nostrils which led to the bleeding.
I did feel bad afterwards. I was impatient and was being unfair to the doctor. I should not have caused him embarrassment in front of his peers. However, I could not find him later. The doctors always appeared to be on the move. It was a few days later that I found him behind a nurse's station, his eyes focused into the computer.
At first I wanted to turn away, however I still remembered how I had unintentionally embarrassed him. I should apologise for my actions.
I approached the doctor and apologised to him. He looked puzzled and asked for what reason. I reminded him of the incident, and he waved it off.
"It is a very good attitude you have, doctor. Not to put this to your heart. Thank you."
Another day at the hospital. Though I had an earlier scare, it was good to know that his test resulted were not that bad. Although the jaundice level did went up slightly.
I am mostly happy with the encounters that I had with the doctors and nurses. I could see that they are dedicated to their work. Sometimes I could see stressed out faces especially when it appeared to be peak season. They are professionals with dedicated hearts. However, previously I have also met with doctors who have big egos, dismissing or refusing to listen to patients' concern. I am glad to have encountered with the former batch of doctors who gave me a more balanced view of the medical profession.
On a journey of uncertainty, confusion, chaos and emotional turbulence, that is when we turn to Faith. Some lost Faith when they did not get the answers they wanted or what they prayed for did not manifest. Some Faiths however strengthen despite the journey appearing more unknown and uncertain. To me, Faith is a personal journey. No one can tell you what you should do with your Faith. It's yours alone and not for others to dictate what it should be to their understanding. To their belief system. To their comfort zone. For God would show the ever faithful His Answer, His Direction. His Guidance. I remembered my Faith was weakened in the month of April 2018. Patrick's jaundice did not appear to be growing any better. In fact, it was steadily increasing in bilirubin. My mother questioned on why is he not getting any better. Sometimes I do not know how to answer her. How could I give her a definite answer when the doctors could not? On average, I had been sleeping 3 hours nightly bec…
The birth of Patrick changed my marriage life from the two of us to the three of us, a family. We were excited, happy, worried followed by all kind of emotions for our baby son. So many things to learn, to experience. Breastfeeding, constant thoughts on our baby's well being especially when his jaundice appeared to rise during his first month. The lacking of sleep. There were moments I observed his breathing while he slept. We were amazed by every new mannerisms that Patrick displayed. We were so charmed when he first smiled to us. I would observed how gently my husband would treat Patrick and how Patrick would looked up to him, listening to his every word.
We were enjoying ourselves as new parents until something happened in the middle of November 2017 that changed our lives forever. "There is something not right with his stools."
My sister in law remarked to me while I tiredly changed Patrick's diapers. Mentally I can be exhausted as new mothers would be. We visited my s…
When I saw Patrick's stained fingers, I observed closely it was blood. I assumed the stain came from his ears again. I observed - no wound. I checked on his arms and legs. No wounds as well. I was puzzled where the stain came from. Then I had a sudden thought - check his diapers. When I saw the bloodstain on the diapers, I panicked and called my husband to come upstairs quickly. When he reached the room, I told him Patrick is bleeding. "where?", he asked "Anus." I pointed to his diapers and then his anus stained blood. It had never happened like this before. Usually there were droplets of blood together with his stools. Even that rarely happened. "Is it starting?", my worried thoughts came. When I glanced towards my husband's face, he too have similar thoughts. "It" refer to liver damage. My husband advised me to clean up his anus. After the blood stain was cleaned, my husband took a closer look. "There is a cut near the anus hole." …