Love Is The Way

17/7/2018
12.40pm

His steady eyes curiously looked upon his dripping blood not the vial. Then his eyes turned to me and back to the doctor again. The same steady eyes. This time with no traces of fear. Curiosity was the theme instead.

Today, the day of discharge. One month has passed. Together as mother and son, we have experienced so much.

Earlier before the blood test, I was praying and singing to God. To heal Patrick. To reduce his jaundice. To strengthen his liver and so forth. I often so do during my hospital stay. This time I added one more request - to heal his body from fears of blood extraction, insertion of tube. I would focus on each body parts I could think of during the moment, to request God to heal him so that he would no longer be traumatised.

Then, it was time for his blood test. Patrick reacted when he realised that he was in that dreaded room. I tried to calm him, explained that the doctors were trying to help him become better. That blood needed to be taken from him. Unfortunately, some pain would be involved.

His eyes had this look of fear. From me to the doctors. Back to my eyes once more. He cried a little, in anticipation of the pain. I encouraged Patrick to focus on breastfeeding. Then the needle inserted.

Patrick twitched a little with his eyes closed. His eyes opened, fear was flowing outwardly.

"Focus on mummy. Feel mummy's love."

Whenever Patrick feels scared, I always remind him to feel my love for him.
He closed his eyes as the doctor continue to collect his blood into three vials.

During the process, his eyes suddenly opened. He turned his head slightly to the doctor. Then his eyes onto his dripping blood.

No more fear. No more cries.

Then it was over.

The doctor remarked that it was the first time for him to witness a baby not crying during blood taking. No struggling. No screams. Instead, calmness and curiousity

I told Patrick that I am proud of him that he did not cry. His face lighted up, with his trademark smile.

His jaundice level has reduced from 234 to 210. All the other blood tests results were normal. His weight as of yesterday - 5.640kg.

Although I had used the method of breastfeeding to calm down Patrick during the previous blood extraction exercises, there was still an occasional tension and he would mostly focused on my breast.

This time, he was much calmer than expected. Patrick, you surprised me more and more. You have changed me for the better. Thank you for being my son. 

You are such a joy and sweetheart, Patrick! How I love you so!



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