Second Day In Hospital

In my arms, Patrick looked peaceful in sleep. Tonight was the second night of continuous milk feeding.

Prior to this, he was crying because his stomach was unused to being continuously pumped with milk. This was not a normal milk. His health condition made it difficult for him to absorb fats. His doctor recommended Mamex Pepti milk powder to assist Patrick in absorbing fats to a higher degree, therefore easier for him to gain weight. Many BA babies are underweight.

Although it had only been the second night, Patrick managed to pull out his nasogastric tube (NG) at least three times. The process of re-insertion always caused Patrick to end up being fearful. I believed it's a discomforting experience for him. especially the part where the nurses held him down. It can be scary for him as he did not understand why they were suddenly behaving in such a threatening manner. 

The nasogastric tube Patrick currently having fo night feeding. 

Before he was sleeping peacefully, but after the continuous feeding, he would wake up now and then in loud cries. Usually mostly due to gas accumulation in his stomach. When I am awakened by his cries, I would try to burp him to ease off his stomach discomfort.

There were moments I would sing to him while rocking him in my arms. His teary face slowly became relaxed with eyes deep into mine. Occasionally a slight smile to me in response. Eventually his tiredness would overcome him. I would continue singing and rocking him  until I felt satisfied that he had fallen into a deep sleep. Then I would relocate him onto the bed. 

If he did not enter into a deeper state of sleep, he would immediately wake up when his head touches his pillow. 

While doing this now and then like clockwork, it came to my realisation that this was going to be challenging. Especially, if I am to stay here for an estimated almost two weeks. Dr Ng felt Patrick may need to stay beyond a week. Indeed it is a stamina and endurance journey in the hospital. I have never stayed so long in the hospital before. However, I am willing to endure this for Patrick.

Luckily, Patrick had been training me since I got pregnant with him. On average, ever since pregnancy until today, three hours of sleep was the norm. Even then, it can be an interrupted three hours of sleep. On rare moments, my sleep could be continuous for three hours. 

I feel like this lady; insufficient sleep and rest.

Since the day he was born, he would be awake during night time, causing me to have an average sleep of 2 to 3 hours nightly. When I shared this with Dr.Ng, he mentioned that some BA babies have difficulty of sleeping in the night due to the state of the weaken liver. Somehow it disturbed their sleep. 

I would usually try to catch up with the rest of my sleep during the day with naps so hat I can recover from my exhaustion. Luckily, I am not working. I truly marvelled mothers who are sleep deprived while having a 9am to 5pm day job. 

To keep up with this, I have to strengthen myself. When I did not get sufficient level of rest during the day, within that day itself, I will fall sick with fever or flu. 

I hope for the next continuous night feed, it shall be a smoother ride. Mummy will try to catch your fingers faster than you pulling the tube out. I will try my best to lessen the trauma of the re-insertion of your tube. My son, my son...please don't pull out your tube again.