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I woke up earlier due to my son's discomfort. With my rocking, he finally melted in my arms with bliss.
In the silence of the early morning, I overheard the next room's baby cries.
The baby had always been crying; I wondered why out of concern. It sounded to be in much discomfort and pain.
The nurse came in to check on the bag that was attached to my son's tube. He had been on this ten to twelve hours milk marathon nightly. The nurse will come in to top up the milk whenever the milk finished in the bag.
"I noticed the baby in the next room always crying. Is the baby having some kind of condition?"
The constant baby crying I heard next door during my hospital stay
Nurse replied, "the baby is fasting for seven days. How do I explain this? The baby has a condition medical condition called NEC."
"NEC? Let me Google."
My eyes were shocked as I read the words from Wikipedia.
'Necrotizing enterocolitis ( NEC) is a medical condition where a portion of the bowel dies. It typically occurs in newborns that are either premature or otherwise unwell. Symptoms may include poor feeding, bloating, decreased activity, blood in the stool, or vomiting of bile.'
I turned to the nurse, "This sounds serious."
"It is. Earlier, X-ray was done on the baby. The bowel did not appear to deteriorate further."
I inquired, "how old is the baby?"
"14 days old."
After she finished her duty, she returned to her nursing post while I returned to my thoughts.
Suddenly I have this feeling and thought at the same time.
I will be leaving soon. My singing had always been a comfort to my son.
From tomorrow onwards until the time we discharge from the hospital ...I decided that I will be singing for the mothers and babies of this ward.
From the unexpected feedbacks that I had received, some mothers shared with me that they felt good although my singing was not intended for them.
So much pain here. I cannot take away their pain. I am not someone who have the ability to create such miracles.
All I can do for them would be to sing from my heart and let the melody reached out to those who needed it.
I am not sure whom I would touch with my voice. I sincerely hope that it would not cause unnecessary disturbance.
I hope that my small gesture can give them a temporary distraction from their suffering, and some Light in spite of everything.
Let my Heart guide me to sing.
God, please guide me to sing for the wounded hearts.
On a journey of uncertainty, confusion, chaos and emotional turbulence, that is when we turn to Faith. Some lost Faith when they did not get the answers they wanted or what they prayed for did not manifest. Some Faiths however strengthen despite the journey appearing more unknown and uncertain. To me, Faith is a personal journey. No one can tell you what you should do with your Faith. It's yours alone and not for others to dictate what it should be to their understanding. To their belief system. To their comfort zone. For God would show the ever faithful His Answer, His Direction. His Guidance. I remembered my Faith was weakened in the month of April 2018. Patrick's jaundice did not appear to be growing any better. In fact, it was steadily increasing in bilirubin. My mother questioned on why is he not getting any better. Sometimes I do not know how to answer her. How could I give her a definite answer when the doctors could not? On average, I had been sleeping 3 hours nightly bec…
The birth of Patrick changed my marriage life from the two of us to the three of us, a family. We were excited, happy, worried followed by all kind of emotions for our baby son. So many things to learn, to experience. Breastfeeding, constant thoughts on our baby's well being especially when his jaundice appeared to rise during his first month. The lacking of sleep. There were moments I observed his breathing while he slept. We were amazed by every new mannerisms that Patrick displayed. We were so charmed when he first smiled to us. I would observed how gently my husband would treat Patrick and how Patrick would looked up to him, listening to his every word.
We were enjoying ourselves as new parents until something happened in the middle of November 2017 that changed our lives forever. "There is something not right with his stools."
My sister in law remarked to me while I tiredly changed Patrick's diapers. Mentally I can be exhausted as new mothers would be. We visited my s…
When I saw Patrick's stained fingers, I observed closely it was blood. I assumed the stain came from his ears again. I observed - no wound. I checked on his arms and legs. No wounds as well. I was puzzled where the stain came from. Then I had a sudden thought - check his diapers. When I saw the bloodstain on the diapers, I panicked and called my husband to come upstairs quickly. When he reached the room, I told him Patrick is bleeding. "where?", he asked "Anus." I pointed to his diapers and then his anus stained blood. It had never happened like this before. Usually there were droplets of blood together with his stools. Even that rarely happened. "Is it starting?", my worried thoughts came. When I glanced towards my husband's face, he too have similar thoughts. "It" refer to liver damage. My husband advised me to clean up his anus. After the blood stain was cleaned, my husband took a closer look. "There is a cut near the anus hole." …